Officially Nutto, and Beat Up Too

Remind me, peeps, the next time my parents are coming, to NOT undertake any major projects such as furniture moving and rearranging, two days prior to any visit. Furthermore, any proclamations that all clutter shall be banished should be verboten prior to company coming to town.

Oh, I think if the kids are angels this afternoon (they have been very tolerant of my busyness this morning) I can complete about 90% of the tasks, make no mistake...and it will be a miracle, and the angels will sing because surely God will have helped me along with the multitude of work! However, understand that there will still be dust covering surfaces that probably need a good dusting (dust is most welcome in this house, I am building up tremendous immune systems in my children and thus avoiding any occurrence of asthma). And the vacuuming will be poor because the famed Dyson Animal has been beaten down by repeated cage cleanings and parrot feathers and hair in the bathrooms. I suspect it has a clog somewhere, reducing its famous suction to something quite half-hearted which has me questioning the point of vacuuming at all, really.

I can hear some of you now, with helpful suggestions like, "just do a little cleaning each day, and keep up with it instead of cleaning for company." Yes, these are the types of helpful suggestions you read in women's magazines and parenting magazines, but you never read about days like my day yesterday, oh no you don't.

You don't read about parents schlepping their two kids under 3 in a double stroller from the autoglass place to the mall, weaving through construction zones around the mall and dodging people zooming to the Goodwill drop off and cursing while they streak off equally irritably upon discovery that the trailer is full today. And you don't read about moms who scour the purported "clearance" racks in the stores but find clothes that are still overpriced for what they are (which is clothes that look cute with unique buttons and embroidery and bits of lace but which will turn into dangerous (broken buttons), unraveling, need-to-be-ironed to look presentable clothing which will be irrevocably stained after about the third wearing). So you obtain a bribe ice cream cone to keep your two year old happy and tell yourself that a little caffeinated coffee ice cream is really not bad in the big scheme of things for your seven month old--at least he's happy! And then two hours later you call the autoglass place and find out that they do not have the right glass for your car, but oops our installer didn't catch it until he cut out your old glass, so we have these options, all of which involve inconvenience and about $200 more...*sigh*

Then you take your two year old to the playground, because you promised you would, before schlepping them back to the autoglass place to remove your carseats and get a ride home from their receptionist (oh joy). And your two year old refuses to come to you at the playground entrance when you clearly counted down the time left until you had to go. And you try to grab your DD as she runs past, keeping your DS and stroller within a moderate distance at the entrance, and end up doing a face plant on the floor, crashing your DD to the floor with you, resulting in a wrenched knee and a wailing child to console. So you awkwardly hobble the mile back to the autoglass store with the double stroller and two exhausted children, get your stuff arranged and get home, only to wrench your shoulder moving furniture.

Why is it that we never read about these types of things in the parenting magazines, hmmm? "Mom Tips for Surviving Child-Inflicted Injuries", or "How Not to Care About Housecleaning When Company's Coming". Now THOSE are articles I could use, peeps!

All right, I'm off to ice my knee and continue moving furniture. Don't worry, I only have a really heavy poplar pie safe to move now. And a chair and ottoman. And the desk from the doorway of the guest room to our cottage. Along with the metal bedframe on our deck. Did I mention clearing a path in the cottage to be able to move those things in? No? Well, don't mind me...I'm just nutto here.