Friday, May 15, 2009

Ugly But Functional

Lately I am pondering why we (meaning my DH & I) feel the need to embellish the functional to make it more aesthetically appealing. In so doing, we often complicate our lives greatly, saddle ourselves with expensive and time-consuming projects, and then get bogged down while doing them and get very frustrated by the stagnation.

Looking around our house & garden, I see numerous examples of this. We had a functional but weedy yard. We decided to embellish it by creating a huge flower bed, to make it prettier and get rid of the almost 100% weeds that were established there. Fine. But that huge flower bed now needs to be filled. We've spent nearly 2 years trying to fill it, and in the meantime it is more often than not filled with different kinds of weeds that just grow taller than the ones they replaced, and are more time consuming to get rid of (at least with a weedy lawn you can mow it, whereas a weedy flower bed has to be, well, weeded). Trying to solve a problem and make it beautiful gave us a lot more work.

Similarly, we decided to redo our ugly but functional kitchen. We spent numerous hours sanding, priming, & painting the cabinets & countertops, then sealing the countertops. It does look a lot prettier, to be sure--but now we have cream colored cabinets that show all the spills and dirt that get spilled on them on a regular basis. So where previously we had dark but ugly mid-tone oak veneer, now we have warm but dirty cream cabinets that require a pretty vigilant hand with the Magic Eraser (which, frankly, I don't have, so they're just dirty). More beautiful, but more work.

Now we have to decide what we're going to do about the fencing for the dog. We talked about it and DH would like to do a pretty lattice fence for the front part of the yard, with flower beds and pretty stuff growing up the trellises to make it look really pretty. I agreed with the lattice part, I would like that. But the more I think about it, the more I think we are better off to go for ugly functionality over the beautiful. Frankly, we don't have time to keep up with the "prettified" bits we already have around the house & garden. We're adding a new baby to the mix mid-summer, and we're already training a puppy. We have a list a mile long of projects that also need to be done (not want, need). Wood shed for firewood (keeps heating bills down in the wintertime, wood has to be kept dry). Cut up firewood for wintertime early in the summer so it can cure a bit before this winter (see above). Repair pump shed (houses our well pump & needs to be well insulated & actually INTACT to prevent 3rd year straight of freezing pipes & defrosting with hair dryer...one of these times we're going to have a broken water pipe and this is really a NEED). Tear down kids' old swingset (metal, exposed concrete safety hazard, already missed contact with small heads by a mere inch) and replace with freebie wooden playset (it's on my driveway in pieces, it's been there a year, it's time to put it up, m'kay?).

Add to this the fact that we are a little constrained in the old budget and it makes for a nervous nellie. We need to buy more gravel for the driveways ($200-$300). We need to buy materials for the sheds (repair/construction) and the rotten bits of the freebie playset ($200?). Our electric furnace is an antique and we really need a replacement fund for that ($3500, and wouldn't it be nice to replace it this calendar year with that nice tax break plus the energy company's rebate?). Both of our cars need the transmission fluid to be changed, and our minivan needs at least a recharge on the a/c coolant, and hopefully not anything more expensive like a broken compressor that needs to be fixed ($300-$400, without the compressor). And I still don't know if I'm going to be employed this fall, which means our tight summer budget could get really ugly this fall if I'm not working.

Yeah, I'm really not thinking that pretty fences are my cup of tea right now. I'm thinking functional, cheap, and quick to install is what would float my boat. I would love to have a pretty fence with lattice and pretty things growing on it. I think it would look GREAT. However, I also know that we have a lot of demands on our time and our money, and I also know how low our batting average is for completing projects in a timely manner. Really, I am fast becoming a fan of ugly but functional. Give me functional, folks!!! LOVIN' THAT FUNCTIONALITY! I CAN deprogram myself from our society's fascination with all things bright & beautiful (and expensive, and time consuming). Frankly I just don't have the energy for it any more.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Tablecloth

There really is something to sitting down together around the dining table for dinner every night. It's civilized, it teaches the kids table manners, and it helps us stick to our meal plan (it's not quite the same thing to sit down at the dinner table to some take-out pizza, know what I'm saying?).

Now that second little point is a big one, really. No one wants their kids to be slobs at the table, and no one wants their kids to be those kids at a restaurant, running around with straws stuck up their noses or throwing food on the floor. However, getting from the '2 year old and big enough to sit in a real chair (with a booster) and eat like everyone' to 'well mannered, polite 6 year old that everyone compliments when dining in public' is a big transition. Right now our 4 year old daughter is pretty good at the table. She backslides when her brother is being naughty and she eggs him on, and she forgets that the principal purpose of sitting down to eat dinner is to eat dinner, not entertain us with stories and made-up songs and theatrical hand flares that endanger the nearest beverage glasses. But she doesn't throw food on the floor, she doesn't spit out food if she decides halfway through chewing it that she doesn't like it, and she doesn't fling her hands around, knocking over anything in their path.

Our son...well, he does do all of those things. He's two. And, I swear, EVERY NIGHT the boy spills his drink. EVERY NIGHT. It does not matter where I put his cup, or how carefully I watch him so that I can grab it and move it before a vigorous hand wave topples it over. Somehow, each evening, the boy manages to spill his beverage on the table.

Now, I have discovered that, in addition to my pet peeve about always having clean fingernails (let me just say that I will never go camping without running water again), I don't like having a dirty tablecloth. The tablecloth is one of those civilizing elements of dinner together. It's like a stately butler, bidding all to behave at table. Somehow having a permanently stained and perpetually damp-within-minutes tablecloth really put a damper on my enjoyment of the whole dinner ritual. I had two "everyday" tablecloths that were purchased on the cheap and had lasted us for about seven years. However, they have not been able to withstand the onslaught wrought by our children. The pale green tablecloth now has a distorted yellow spot covering about ten percent of the middle, and the white & burgundy one is dotted with dark stains and some large blots.

It was time to upgrade the table linens, friends. I bought two new "everyday" tablecloths at Kohls, one of which is a microfiber tablecloth. Aha! Something my children should not (in theory) be able to stain! Yippee!

Well, my son is putting this tablecloth through its paces. Both of our kids have placemats, in an attempt to rein in the stainmaking potential at their places. Despite his beloved "Cars" being plastered all over his placemat, my son still has an uncanny knack for pushing it back just enough so that he can spill with abandon on the tablecloth itself. Tonight he dumped a full glass of milk (and please note that two year olds ALSO think they are too OLD for sippy cups, Mommy!) on it, and that beaded right up on the tablecloth like it was nothing. We were impressed. However, I think the everlasting piece of genius has to go to DH, who in a moment of inspiration swapped our son's placemat for a Shamwow. Yes, he is a genius (particularly because my dad sent them to us from their Costco pack and I hadn't a clue what we could use them for). I think they should make themed placemats out of that stuff. Now our son's place at the table has a generous lip that runs off the table, and plenty of coverage to either side. He could spill milk and other food repeatedly and still it will not touch the tablecloth.

A double armor system, that is what it takes. That, and lots of wine and humor. And Wine Away stain remover. It's not just for wine, my friends. It works on a lot of other kid mangling stains. You too could make an "everyday" tablecloth last for seven plus years, even WITH table training kids. I dare you.