The Ado-Man

My husband and I have noticed a disturbing pattern among some of our married friends--the ado-man (short for adolescent man). Usually this man is in his late twenties to early forties, and surprisingly he has not really settled down into any stable job or career field. Instead he has flitted from job to job, often because he is "bored" with what he was doing, or it wasn't challenging enough, or it just didn't suit his temperament, etc. Most of the time, these men are also married with young children, and tend to be quite traditional in their marriages and childrearing preferences--i.e. they prefer that their wives stay home with their children, they are the "boss" of the household.

What is really disturbing to us is that these men seem incapable of providing any sort of sustainable support for their families, but they can't seem to connect the dots to their own decisions. Losing a job is "bad luck" and not due to the fact they were bored with work and stopped giving their best. The fact their wives have to scrimp, save, buy the scratch & dent cans and shop at Goodwill for their kids' clothes (NTTAWT) doesn't register when they go out and blow $500 on a Bose surround sound system because "Hey, I haven't treated myself to anything for a while and sometimes you just gotta do it, you know?" These same guys will buy themselves a new truck every two years because they feel like it (while their wife's car, the chief family transport, is held together with baling wire), have poker night with their buddies at their house even when their ten month old is teething and dealing with a miserable ear infection, and then they don't understand why their wives get so hopping mad that they are making a lot of noise and staying up until past midnight.

DH and I have encountered repeated species of these males and frankly we are just baffled. Just when do we hit the "Grow Up!" button for the American male of the species? What is wrong with our society that we give a pass to these guys hanging on to the good old days of teendom, when they have adult commitments, relationships, and very real fiscal needs? I get the traditional marriage, but frankly if you aren't providing LEADERSHIP to your family, then you aren't cut out for the male role in a traditional marriage! If you aren't leading by example, showing your kids that yes, sometimes your job is NOT your passion, but that's okay because you need to feed, clothe, and house your family, what kind of message does that send to them? What does it say to your wife when you SAY you support her, but every action is a sabotage to your financial stability and a demonstration of your lack of respect for her wants and needs?

Now that's not to say that the wives in these cases aren't responsible too. I would probably have quite a strong argument with my husband if he weren't pulling his weight in our marriage or family. And I have to say that some of these women are not communicating with their husbands. They complain to their friends but don't actually talk to their husbands about what has them so hopping mad a lot of the time. Is it any wonder we see the rate of divorce we see in the Christian church? Yeah, all of these examples are in CHRISTIAN households.

I just really mourn the lack of good, strong male role models. In an age where marriage is increasingly irrelevant, the whole idea of "service" to your marriage and family is fast falling out of favor. One need only look at the single parent phenomenon in African American households to see how ugly this gets when the dad is allowed a complete pass on responsibility. What is even more frightening is that moms are getting in on the act now, too. It seems increasingly common for moms to be committed in early childhood years, then to get tired of solely shouldering the responsibilities for childraising and leave their teens to go solo (figuratively speaking). Sometimes this takes the form of highly structured schedules, which has the added bonus of making Mom feel like a good parent, because John and Judy are in band, cheer, every sport imaginable, Mandarin, and a host of other "college ready" extracurriculars. Of course John & Judy are so busy you never get to talk to them, and they never get a break, but that's just preparing them for the "real world". Or you just stop listening to your kids, don't make an effort to understand them any more. Hey, it's just because they're teenagers, right? Eventually they will sort it all out and move out for college--the hard part is done. Yeah, because we all know how well that absentminded parenting works for teenagers.

I think we need to be honest with ourselves. Marriages take work. Families require solid commitments. That means sometimes (a lot of the time) you are working at a job that, at its best, drives you crazy sometimes. But you do what you need to do to put food on the table. If you want to "find yourself", "follow your passion", or "find the job you love", you wait to do it when you aren't putting your marriage and family under tremendous strain in the process. If that means drastically changing your lifestyle with everyone's agreement, so that you can afford to start your business or chase your dream, great! But if that is not possible, you need to be mature enough to recognize it and postpone it until you aren't putting other people's lives and well-being at risk. I realize that flies in the face of our hedonistic society, but you really AREN'T priority #1 when you have kids and a marriage. I'm not saying you don't need to take care of yourself, but you can't take care of yourself to the exclusion and detriment of all others. And you need to be involved in parenting your kids, period. Your wife is not the exclusive caregiver if the kids are under X years of age. You ARE responsible for the messages your behavior sends to them. You DO have to sacrifice some of your personal pleasures. It's called being a grown-up--how about trying it sometime, Mr. Ado-male?

Still Here, Just Busy

Well, let's just say the old blog has fallen off the priority list. Well, okay, it's practically fallen off a cliff, broken both of its legs and punctured a lung, but I'M HERE NOW TO GIVE LIFE SUPPORT AND YOU CAN JUST BACK OFF A LITTLE M'KAY? *ahem* A bit defensive we are, (channeling Yoda), yeah yeah, let's just say that 3(Kids) + Work + Life = Busy, and that means too busy to blog. Some days Busy = Tired or = Lazy or = Disinterested or = Distracted. There has been a lot going on around here.

In point of fact, I really ought to be grading my students' extra credit assignments right now, and answering a student's email, but frankly I just cannot do it, no I will NOT and you can't MAKE me, damn it! I am TIRED. That's TIRED, in case you didn't get my meaning. No matter how much my husband and I thought we kind of knew what to expect from having three kids, we didn't. Yeah, take the level of tiredness we thought we'd be facing, and multiply it by THREE. Totally underestimated the amount of sniping, irritation, and anger we would have toward each other due to the increased demands on our attention and energy. Any little things that used to sort of bother us have now become things that cause moments of eye twitching rage and smouldering irritation. And we did figure that out about four months ago, but nonetheless it is still very hard to remember that in a moment when one of us has just done something that really, truly pisses off the other person. And it's not like it's even big stuff, it's the little, insane bits that just gnaw at you, and even when your rational self says, "Self, this is not a big deal, this is something to work on later when we aren't crazy busy and sleep deprived all the time," it is still hard to see the bigger picture.

I am very glad that my husband and I took a good marriage class several years ago, B.C. (before children). It gave us some really good coping skills which we use daily. However, I think that the demands of 3 preschool children (including 1 infant) really exposes the microscale cracks in a marriage--and just like the effects of ice on cracks in concrete or asphalt, it widens them over time. Gary Chapman says no marriage is ever static--it's either getting better, or it's getting worse. And frankly I think my husband and I would both say ours has gotten slightly worse over the past seven or eight months. It's a small slide, but it's noticeable. It's noticeable when you say something that's not very nice to your spouse, and even if it's a product of a thoughtless or half-thought, it still hurts. And it hurts you too to realize you said something that hurt your spouse's feelings. After all, your marriage is a partnership and you are a team. It's depressing to find yourself saying or doing things that sabotage that, especially if that moment happens in front of your children--who are watching everything you do. And it's noticeable to have less time to yourselves, time to recharge and *be* and reconnect with each other. Sitting on the couch together is nice, but when you're both so tired that you're falling asleep, or zoning out on your laptop or to some TV program, that doesn't really count.

I would love to have a monthly date night, but the fact is that dates cost money, in the form of babysitters and at least a few bucks for a coffee somewhere. And we are trying to get ready for my long, lean, unpaid summer off, plus have the money to pay for finishing projects that can only be done in good weather, like the missing/rotting wall on our shed. And really, we just need to not be exhausted every night. It's very easy to tell ourselves, "this too shall pass", but given the fact that our three year old still wakes up most nights of the week needing something, and we have a seven month old baby...well, you do the math. That light at the end of that particular tunnel doesn't seem very bright or very close. Add in the fact that DH, who we are so very grateful to God remains gainfully employed, is now working EST hours, while we live PST. That makes for a really tough, long day. It's stressful, period.

I love my husband. I LOOOOOOOOOVE him. He does so many gorgeous, glorious, sexy, bad-ass wonderful things for me and our family. And I LOVE my kids. They are maddeningly glorious and messy and joyful dervishes whirling through life. LOVE IT ALL. It's just a lot to manage. Add in my own fantasy expectations for glorious, weed-free gardens, moss-free lawns, perfect vegetable garden, and perfectly organized, clean house (hahahaahahahahahahahahaa!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA...no, really, I DO want an organized clean house...doesn't mean I know HOW to get there), and you have the need for serious priority-setting and realistic expectation setting. I know rationally that we are in a busy period of our lives. However, I also know that we have to do a certain amount of *maintenance* on our property and yards, in order to keep it from devaluing, and keep ourselves from creating massively expensive maintenance problems in the future. Figuring out exactly how much has to be done is the key, and this is only our second house, and our first older house. It's more of "a lot" on our plate, and we need to figure it out, because maybe then it will stop stressing me out.

Yet again we are having to adjust to the "new normal", the new parental strains, the new home ownership challenges, the new budgeting, etc. It's Life, and frankly sometimes I want to go back to being a whirling dervish myself and forget all this crap that constitutes life as a Certified Adult. Vacation, anyone? If I could only figure out how to pay for it.

Cranky, Disorganized, & Running Out of Time

I am doing my best now that the quarter has ended to get the house & yard organized prior to baby arrival. However, I am being stymied at every turn by our two eldest children, who insist on making as big a mess as possible whenever my or DH's backs are turned. My son has an ongoing fascination with water, and if he's not spilling all the water out of the dog's bowl, he is spreading soap over my coffee table, over the bathroom counter, and spilling water everywhere. The only time I feel somewhat okay letting the boy have water in his possession is when we are outside, and even then it is a risky proposition. Heaven forfend he gets a hose in his hands, because he will spray anyone and everything as fast as he can.

My daughter is continuing to exhibit her unacceptable attitude on occasion. She has shown some improvement since daycare has ended, but she's still driving us crazy at least once a day. It's like her brain is simply incapable of processing the fact that SHE has a much happier day when she loses the attitude and demonstrates her ability to DO what she is told to do. My husband has forbidden the phrase, "I'll listen! I'll listen!" as this is what she says repeatedly when she gets into trouble. Again, the whole concept of it's not just listening, it's DOING is apparently beyond her intellect at the age of 4.

My house is still looking like a bomb went off in it. I have empty boxes scattered hither & yon, waiting to be removed for recycling. I still don't have all the linens back in my linen closet, so I am stepping over space bags still in the laundry room and our bedroom. I have pre-pregnancy clothes under my bed with no home to go to. I think a neighbor hit the nail on the head--I just do not have enough storage in this house, and it's driving me nuts!

DH is doing his best to finish the bathroom remodel. All but 2 rows of tile are laid for the tub surround, and then we have to grout it and seal the grout on the floor and in the tub surround. We still have to finish painting the tub room, and then install all the trim and the linen closet door. I hope we aren't going to be doing this when our parents get here, I really don't.

Nonetheless, I don't think this baby is going to wait. The head is very low, and my OB thinks there is no way we are making it to the due date. This is good news for me, because I really, really want to avoid a repeat c-section. I sincerely hope this kiddo is ready to make her appearance (assuming the u/s tech was right and it is a she), because I am just about done with being pregnant. Only a few short weeks left, technically, but she is more than welcome to come early. At least then I'll have a good excuse for my messy house. Stay tuned!

Not Nesting

To borrow a theme from a friend's blog, I am going to list all the things that I'm not doing today... *wink, wink, nudge nudge*

• I am not nesting. I have not determined a new configuration of the living room furniture which necessitates my husband moving every single piece of furniture to a new location (including the outrageously heavy piano). Nope, not me!
• I did not buy a piece of chocolate candy at Fred Meyer which I promptly ate while drinking a (gasp!) caffeinated soda when I got home.
• I did not lose my flash drive with all my lecture notes & grades on it (although I have back-ups in two different locations).
• I am not making my friend Hanna's killer salsa because I saw all the ingredients laid out in the same place in the grocery store, as if it was a sign from God that homemade salsa should be made.
• I am not the proud mama of a big boy who wore big boy underwear all afternoon yesterday and had not a SINGLE accident, even when we went out to dinner.
• I am not that wife who sends her husband to pick up the kids from daycare because she wants some more time to herself before they come barreling back in.

Yep, that's not me!

More to Goodwill

Well I am actually making some progress on decluttering our house. It is a teeny bit of progress, but better than nothing. I dropped off two boxes of toys and 3 bags of clothes today, and felt a bit better getting them out of my hallway and bedroom.

I am doing spring cleaning this week, but not at the lightening quick pace I had envisioned for myself. I hadn't realized how tired I was after teaching full-time this past quarter, being pregnant, giving our children and my husband love and attention, and still trying to keep all the balls juggling around the household. I dropped a ball and got caught with a late payment due to the old due date shuffle by our credit card company, and had to call today to sweetly ask for my old interest rate (8.25%) as opposed to their punitive 19.99% rate which they slapped on me (which they gave to me without any hassle...it pays to have good credit and be a longtime customer). At least I caught it right away, but I'm irritated that I let it happen. I can't wait to pay that sucker off! Not for a while yet, though. But we did pay off another credit card, so I allowed myself a mini-happy dance for that. Our debt snowball calculator tells me that we will be out of debt in...five years. Da-da-da-dum. Sucky, but it is EVERYTHING except our mortgage--the HELOC, my student loan, everything. I guess that is not too bad.

We are supposed to have some folks over for a visit on Saturday afternoon, but now it's looking like we might head over to the city to meet them somewhere instead. I am a bit relieved, frankly, because I am not sure I am going to have the house "company ready" by my standards before Saturday. I am just digging out here and re-establishing some semblance of house cleanliness and tidying, and the whole decluttering thing is a bit messy in its own way. You know the routine--you have to make a mess by sorting stuff before you can reorganize and get rid of the stuff you don't need.

Today I did get our son's room cleaned and reorganized. I took out all the baby toys which he has outgrown, things which are more for toddlers than little boys. And I put all of his favorite toys into his toy cubbies, where they are in plain view but everything has a place. I started doing the same in our daughter's room, but I ran out of time to get it finished. I have to get her buy-in about some of the organizing, because if she's not on board, then it's a waste of my time. Hopefully she will connect the dots about finding her toys more easily, because she is starting to realize that knowing where something actually is makes it a lot easier to play with it.

I am still catching my own bad habits and trying to correct them before they are permanently imparted to the kids. I tend to leave coats and shoes lying around, and so I can't get irritated when they do the same thing. And I am making a habit of just doing something if I see it. Case in point: our kids' ball pit. Half the time the balls are strewn around our den. Whenever I walk through there now, I toss a few balls into the ball pit. Eventually they are all back in there and the room is that tiny bit neater. It's really not that much energy and I feel good about doing just a little every time I see it. I am just trying to transfer that philosophy to the rest of the house!! Hopefully we will get ourselves back onto a tight meal plan and budget and get our house (and ourselves!) ready for this new little one in the summertime. One step at a time...

The Hidey Hole

I'll bet you thought I was going to talk about a place my kids have created, where they squirrel themselves away to be by themselves and at peace. However, I am talking about myself, and my bedroom. Lately it's been just a wee bit stressful around here. If I didn't know better (and I don't, by the way), I'd say it's been a spiritual attack zone level one around here. (And that doesn't refer to some secret code, it's just my way of saying that we've had enough dark forces at work in our lives for quite a while, thanks.)

Today we got knocked with more zingers. First, Hubby's employer wanted him to travel again next week. Uh, no. Chiefly because Hubby is presenting the master's thesis that his company paid for a week from today, and it's sort of important that he be at home to finish it up, yes? Yes, they agreed, that is important...what about the week after that. Hubby said, "Well, that is Thanksgiving, and frankly I have family commitments that I wouldn't be able to easily move...plus I'd spend a day flying there and a day flying back, for a total of two days working...it doesn't make much sense." Yes, they agreed, that would be silly. As yet unmentioned is the prospect of the week following, so I am waiting for that little shoe to drop.

And, I was urgently messaged on Google by my mother-in-law to tell me that she couldn't get in touch with DH, and to please let him know right away that his sister (my SIL) was in the hospital with a suspected blood clot in her LUNG. OH boy. This is my SIL who had a miscarriage this summer while we were there visiting, so the poor woman has had her plentiful share of doctors and hospitals already this year. And, she is severely anemic, something that she also had when she was pregnant. Er, shouldn't that ring some alarm bells with some M.D. over there? Hmmm, we have a patient who has been severely anemic for nine months, perhaps something serious is going on??? Pardon me while I thank God for our sue-happy society which at least makes doctors afraid for their heinies if they miss something, thus ensuring they will run every test known to man (and believe me I know the downside of becoming a lab pincushion, having been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt myself several times). Over in Ireland it's apparently a shrug and wait-and-see kind of approach. Yeah. CT scan confirmed a blood clot and now she is in the hospital overnight, shot up in the tummy with fun meds to help the clot dissolve, and can anticipate being on blood thinners for the next six months. She is THIRTY NINE, people! And HEALTHY! This should not be happening to a healthy 39 year old woman and mother of two and lovely person, I might add. So now we wait to find out what the heck is going on that she is so anemic and her body is throwing out clots.

And, on top of all that joy, a very good friend of ours from church has also been hospitalized today for head pain. She has battled migraines and tension headaches for years, but apparently they can't control the pain with meds and she has some inflammation in her neck or something. She and her husband are waiting for the doctors to explain exactly what the heck they are doing to her, what tests they are running and why, etc. And she was dehydrated and had 2 bags of IV fluids. So a total mystery going on there, and who knows how long they are going to keep her in the hospital or what they think might be going on. So not bueno.

So I have been spending a lot of time lately in my hidey hole, namely, our bedroom. I am glad we made a semi-high priority of decorating it as a peaceful, serene room when we moved in, because I am really using it as a sanctuary nowadays. I have spent more time in our bedroom in the past three weeks than I usually spend in there in three months. My favorite version of "Pride and Prejudice" has been playing almost non-stop, and I have re-read the book and Pamela Aidan's Darcy series a few times too. It is just soothing to my nerves right now, something which I sorely need.

And now, if you will excuse me, I think there is a soulful Colin Firth calling my name, along with a big mug of tea and some sudoku puzzles, beckoning from the comfort of my bed. I don't know if I will come out again, so if you don't hear from me, assume I am enshrouded in bed and loudly singing "La la la!" to myself.

My Bob the Builder Husband

I am impressed by my husband. He is out there, in the dark, finishing up the stud section that will give us the necessary wall space for the tub, and simultaneously provide us with a useful shelf for the tub/shower. Ok, he is not exactly in the dark, as he has several lights on, but nonetheless I find it very impressive that he is out there laboring away at a time of day when we are normally relaxing in front of the TV or reading books in bed. I suppose it shows just how tired we both are of having only one bathroom, and (hopefully) a new desire to spur on to the finish line with this remodel business.

As for me, well, I sanded drywall seams today, and I re-sanded some of the vanity door fronts. It was the best I could manage with a playdate this morning, walk with the neighbors this afternoon, and my children doing their best to play hard in between. I am doing my best to be content with what progress we make. I had thought that it would be so GREAT if we were in a position to start tiling THIS WEEKEND!, but I don't think that is going to happen even if I wish wish wish, whipped-cream-nuts-and-a-cherry-on-top wishing. I think we will be doing very well if we get the rest of the drywalling done and get the seams mudded and some wall texturing started in the tub/toilet room. I have a vanity to finish painting, as well as a closet door to paint. And we haven't even picked trim or coving yet. I just don't think we are going to be ready to start snapping chalk lines and laying tile this weekend. *sigh* Sometimes this just seems like the neverending project!

A Nearly Clean Slate

SO, we are still in the process of renovating our bathroom. What does it look like now? Well, like this: That is where our tub used to be. It was cut out in pieces, to determine if the dry rot extended underneath it. Turns out the subfloor there was fine. Oh well. The plumbing bits sticking out to the right are the new shower/tub controls, which we paid our plumber to do for us. After the little copper soldering experiment, I am happy to concede that plumbing is not a DIY skill for us at this time.
This is the double sink vanity for the bathroom--very nice, a good knock-off solid surface countertop, and the integrated sinks make it easy to clean. It's definitely coming back in, but first had to go out so that we could deal with this lovely little remnant:
That would be painted over, textured wallpaper...with an oh-so-charming grid with embossed flowers. I'm sure this was stylin' back in about, oh, 1979. We had covered it up with a venetian plaster product--an agonizing multi-day affair that had us cussing a bit and fussing with the right amount of "product" necessary to cover the offending "texture" of the wallpaper. However, since we are redoing the floor and the tub, we decided what was a little drywall on top of it? Might as well do it right.
This was partway through removing the old vinyl flooring (all four layers of it), plus the particleboard underlayment. All of that is now gone, and we have no drywall (hooray, all textured wallpaper is gone!) and we are down to the 2x6 subfloor. We are ready to start putting it back together, folks; and in the process we will master framing, drywall hanging, taping, mudding, wall texturing, tiling, grouting, and painting. We are fixing a few "wonky" bits, like framing in the linen closet 5 1/4" so it will accept a standard size bi-fold door. The gauze curtain 'door' just wasn't cutting it for us. Likewise, we are moving the light fixture box over 3" and framing in 5 3/4" of a new wall bump-out next to the pocket door, so that the vanity will fit the remaining space exactly. In the new wall section, we are installing a mirrored medicine cabinet and a set of open shelves at the front for lotions, potions, and towels. We are even putting in a recessed light at the top, and I'm getting some glass shelves custom cut at a glass shop for the top shelves, to make it really look nice (we hope).

It's a lot of work. Pray for us. DH & I get snippy at the best of times with DIY, and we are embarking on the most ambitious project of our marriage. Let us hope we emerge unscathed, and, dare I hope, the better for it.

Where Do I Start?

It's late & I'm tired, so here is a brief summary of our weekend:

1. Rip up vinyl flooring on Saturday morning. Find a total of 4 layers of vinyl covering tarpaper over the particleboard subfloor. Particleboard was exposed to moisture long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, and had pretty much disintegrated, held in place by aforementioned tarpaper...which also held in place the moisture from whatever disaster befell this bathroom earlier in its existence. Moisture was dried up and gone for a relatively long time, leaving DRY ROT. Oh goodie.
2. DH & Handy Neighbor with Power Tools & Experience We Don't Have (herein referred to as HN #1) cut open a bigger hole to find out how far dry rot extends. Discover floor joists are not 16" on center but much further apart, like 24" on center. Hmmmmm. But apparently this was not uncommon "back in the day", i.e. 1978, when this house was built. Main floor joist underneath spongy area has dry rot extending about 1" into the beam. Dry rot extends to either side, toward the bathtub, and toward the toilet.
3. Pull the toilet to find out if dry rot extends underneath the toilet. It does. Cut back boards to determine if dry rot extends under the wall (into the other bathroom & other toilet). It does not. *phew*
4. Cut apart tub and remove to determine if dry rot is underneath the tub. Dry rot appears to be contained and doesn't extend further. *phew*
5. (today) Go to big box home improvement store (BBHIS) for lumber needed for "sisters" for partially dry rotted joist & all the perpendicular joists to be run out to the good joists on either side. Also purchased plywood for new (proper) subfloor and new cement backerboard for new tub surround.
6. Finish removing dry rotted subfloor boards (2 x 6 tongue & groove). HN #1 accidentally nicks toilet supply line with sawzall. Run & shut off water to the house. New priority becomes fixing water supply line so we can have water in the house. I go to BBHIS to get copper coupler, flux, solder, torch, etc. with DS in tow. Return home to try my hand at copper soldering. Fail first attempt. Leave to pick up takeaway lunch.
7. Back minivan straight into the lumber in HN #1's compact truck, handily lined up exactly behind the minivan & not viewable in rearview mirror. Curse self handily for failing to check side mirrors while picking up the bazillion pieces of rearview window which were sprayed all over (gravel) driveway and HN #1's truck & its lumber contents. Call car insurance company, no one is home. Car insurance claim (minus $500 deductible, just to make it sting a little more) is first on the agenda tomorrow morning.
8. Send DH to pick up lunch. Attempt 2nd soldering while DH is gone. Fail again. Give up again and eat lunch. Put DS down for nap. Distract DD with Dora the Explorer with DH attempts 3rd soldering and fails. Pack up whole family for a trip through the Starbucks drive-thru (shameless bribe) and Lowes for a 6" copper sweat sleeve.
9. Get back home, put DS to bed. DH cuts off pipe coupler and fits sleeve, attempts soldering with water soluble flux. I turn on the water again and the sleeve blows off the pipe. Turn off the water (thank the Lord for walkie-talkies) and DH & I have a mini-conclave to determine if we should call our friend the plumber or not. DH heads off to BBHIS again to get a cap for the line so we can hopefully cap it and call it a night. On his way down to the store, DH has a brain wave and suggests calling Helpful Neighbor #2, who plumbed his entire garage addition himself.
10. Call HN #2, who comes over within 10 minutes. He assesses the situation and states that he has soldered many copper pipes. Within fifteen minutes of his arrival, he has soldered on the sleeve and the water is again flowing through the house. Hallelujah! I effusively thank HN #2, who offers to help with anything we may need and also offers to loan DH his air power tools, such as his nail gun. HN #2 also suggests we re-do that section of piping anyway, as it is at a slight angle and might be putting some torque on the joint, which is a bad thing. DH arrives home 2 minutes later and gives a Tim Taylor grin at the mention of an air-powered nail gun. *eye roll*

You know, given the happenings today, I don't think I should let DH anywhere near an air gun of any shape. If you'll excuse me, I have to go transfer money from our emergency fund to cover this little home repair boondoggle.

The Good News & the Bad News

Well, DH did get all suited up in the Tyvek suit and mask yesterday and headed down into the crawlspace last night. The mask lasted about two seconds, as it made him feel claustrophobic, but fortunately he discovered no signs of rodents. Hooray! No droppings, no dead rodents, no beady eyes staring at him, nada. So that is definitely good news. Also he had a cursory look at our ducts and all the insulation on them appears to be in good shape, so another hooray! We probably ought to go back down there again to look at the far reaches of the house, but so far, so good.

Then DH got to the part of the house that he thought was the bathroom. To verify that he was at the spongy floor section, he had me jump on it, which I will post for your amusement:

This particular area is mostly inaccessible due to pipes crossing directly under that section of floor, so DH could only pull back at the insulation a bit to see what the subfloor looked like. This is what he found:

Yeah, that's mold. That floor is a 1"+ thick tongue & groove hemlock or fir subfloor, my friends...so we can only imagine what the subfloor above that looks like, if it's leaking through at the seams on the underside. A positive is that it's not all over the place, making us worry about our house being condemned. It is, however, there, so we must deal with it.

The next step, therefore, is to cut the vinyl flooring in the bathroom, pull it back, repeat with the old vinyl that the installers just laid the new one over, and see what the state of the plywood subfloor is. Perhaps they used particleboard or something that is not rated for bathrooms as their subfloor, and just the normal use of the bathroom has caused this. However, we are going to give the kids a bath tonight, and if we find moisture in the subfloor tomorrow, we will know it is the bathtub. I also have to persuade my DD to use our toilet all day, because then we can really isolate any leak from the toilet from any leak from the tub. I really don't think it's the toilet, as it's brand new, it is rock solid & does not move, and it was installed by a plumber. I would be very surprised if it was a problem with the toilet (and we would be calling that plumber about it!).

I am still thinking it's the bathtub. There is no way of knowing, however, without wading in and causing damage to the floor, which we will at a minimum have to repair. Luckily we have some scraps of the vinyl to use as a patch. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Home Maintenance, Delayed

Well, the time has come on our 30 year old house for some more extensive repairs than we have ever attempted by ourselves before. Our neighbors noticed that our kid/guest bathroom floor between the toilet & bathtub was "spongy" during our vacation. Oh joy. It could be from the toilet, but since we had the toilets replaced about 18 months ago, we are suspecting it is more likely from the hairline cracks which we've noticed around the drain in the fiberglass bathtub. We are pretty certain it is the original fiberglass tub/surround from when the house was built, because the opening of the pocket door would not allow it to fit through. Nope, that puppy has been there since the house was framed in.

When we moved into this house about two years ago, our home inspector noted some chips in the fiberglass bottom of the tub, but he also noted that it did not appear to be leaking in the crawlspace. However, we have noticed since examining the spongy floor area, that the caulk has separated from our vinyl flooring at the tub, and also discolored. We had the flooring replaced about 20 months ago, so this is clearly something that has happened since then. The vinyl has also delaminated slightly around the toilet...so who knows? Maybe it is a leaky toilet...or maybe the toilet has started leaking because the floor is spongy. We won't know until we get into our rodent infested likely rodent afflicted crawlspace to get a good look at the floor under the tub & toilet. I say "we" but I mean "DH", because I have no wish to go crawling around in the fiberglass and feces that is probably the current state of our crawlspace. I'm sure neither does he, but in the assignation of household jobs this one falls squarely into DH's camp.

I am expecting to find some mold, frankly. I am hoping that it is contained to the bathroom, so we can treat it relatively painlessly with bleach, dry it out, and move on with our lives. However, this whole process is going to force dealing with the crawlspace rodent issue, because we can't leave the bathroom open to the crawlspace without inviting a host of mice to crawl in and make themselves at home in our house. I've been there enough times, thank you very much, and I would like to avoid any future problems. Thus we have bought bait and traps, and we will be deploying them post-haste. Furthermore, we will probably have to do what we need to do to keep the little buggers out permanently, which is to get to all crawlspace vents from the inside of the crawlspace and staple fine steel mesh to the inside to keep them out. DH might as well staple up some strapping to our silt-plagued kitchen drain line too, while he's down there, so it doesn't sag between the floor joists.

Actually, there are a whole host of jobs to be done in the crawlspace--the mesh on the vents, the drain line strapping, and also finding and sealing up holes in our heating ducts, as well as making sure they are all properly insulated. With energy prices heading up, up, up, I have no interest in paying extra to heat my crawlspace. We had hoped to do this in the autumn when it's cool, but clearly the rodent issue isn't going to wait. I had just better have plenty of shandy fixings for my DH, I think, plus batteries for the 2 way radios so he can tell me if he gets stuck anywhere. Sorry, remind me again why we bought a 30 year old home?

Well That Was a Surprise

100 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Thank you Carol for the link...apparently I would have been okay in the 1930s! Actually I have always thought I would be rather like Little Sal's mother, given my gardening predispositions!

Bedtime Battles

As I said last time, our DD is having a lot of trouble with bedtimes recently. We thought we had gotten past the tantrum stage, but they have come back in full force at bedtime, and then some. It has been incredibly frustrating for my DH, who is the bedtime parent for DD. Usually I am putting DS down at the same time, and since he's still nursing that leaves DH as the bedtime story reader for DD. Over a few months DD has finagled her bedtime routine to include several add-ons with DH..."nighttime dollies", where they each play-act with a doll on various subjects, and which can take 15-20 minutes, tucking in, finding of ALL the appropriate animals, placing the animals in her hand, in various places, turning on the glowing animals, handing her water cup to her, and then finally singing a lullaby. So what started as a quick ten minute tuck in, story reading, and then nighttime kiss has turned into a routine that regularly takes 30-45 minutes.

Needless to say, DH and I were not best pleased by this turn of events, but DH tolerated it because she wouldn't fuss and would settle down and go to sleep. Lately, though, DD has insisted on all of the above, and at the end of it she STILL throws a crying fit. It has been escalating and escalating, and the day before yesterday DH & I talked about it when we went to bed. We decided that we needed to try ramping her down more before going to her room for bedtime, and that what we were doing wasn't working. However, last night while I was putting DS down, I heard the same pattern of behavior from DD, and the same responses from DH. From my perspective, DH got into the "I'm going to win this no matter what it takes" mindset that afflicts all parents at times, and it was not helping the situation. DD was ramping up more and more based on DH's responses, and it was to the point that she was in danger of throwing up from crying so hard and having such a meltdown.

So, I intervened. Now, I knew that in doing so my DH was going to feel undermined, and I knew that DD was going to view me as the 'savior' in the situation. It is a measure of how bad I felt the situation was, that I did so anyway. While DD was temporarily happy for my intervention, she quickly learned that I was not any less serious about bedtime behavior than Daddy. I used a completely different approach, where I was unemotional and quiet. This helped her to calm down, and as I explained the consequences of her behavior, each time she had another crying jag I gave her a bit of time to cry but then told her to nip it in the bud, or she would lose something. She only got one bedtime story, and she didn't get any nighttime dollies or lullabies. And when she broke the rules by not being quiet, she lost a toy--permanently. It's going to Goodwill today. She was very upset about that.

I don't know if this new approach will work, but we have to do something different. We don't care if she goes to sleep right away--we just want her to stay in her room and be quiet until she does go to sleep. Nighttime is the only time each day that DH & I get together sans kids, and we are going to enforce it, period. All of our friends with three year olds are struggling with the same issue, which is something. We are each trying different things. The spanking for disobeying was not working to curb the behavior, and even the points for good behavior system was failing abysmally during the last week. So now I am going to do the bedtimes, and DH can take a breather from the emotional aspects of it. I think DD has been playing the guilt card with Daddy, and she can't play that with me. I'm home with her alllllll day, so there goes that excuse. I am hoping that she complies with the rules so that Daddy can do bedtime again, because I think she needs that one-on-one time with Daddy. But, a break will hopefully help DH to step back a bit, and it will help DD get with the program.

DH & I talked about it after DD was finally in bed and staying there, quiet. He did feel undermined, and I understood that. We had a good talk about the "ramping down" strategy, and my perception that it was totally abandoned at the first balk from DD. And how I perceived that he was too entangled, and a fresh perspective and pair of hands was needed for a short time. That happens in parenting. DH has called me on it several times when one of the kids is playing me. He only wants me to talk to him in private, away from our children. I completely agree--but, if it's a situation that is escalating, escalating, escalating, and one of our kids is about to make themselves sick...well, then somebody has lost perspective. Last night I think DH lost perspective, and I called him on it. I hope he will do the same for me, as he has done in the past. Even if it means a bit of undermining in front of one or both children. Because at the end of the day, we both want our kids to be healthy, well-behaved, and well-adjusted. And when a parent loses perspective and gets into "battle mode", it's not helpful for the parents or the kids. And yes, I will be mad, just like DH was mad. But that undermining is temporary, and we can deal with it. DD does not have the emotional resources to deal with bedtime being such a battle that she is about to throw up because she doesn't feel like we are hearing what she's saying. It's a very fine balance, and I know we don't get it right all the time. But when one of us knows the other has lost it, we should certainly call each other on it. At least, that's how I see it.

Tag, You're It!

Well my friend Carol tagged me to answer these questions so I will comply as much as possible...bearing in mind that I will keep names private if I haven't mentioned them before!

1. Our names: Allison & DH
2. How long have we been married? 8 years this May
3.How long did we date? It's a long story, but it was 10 months after we met that we got engaged, and 13 months after that we were married.
4. How old are we? 32
5. Where does he work? For Siemens, which is a huuuuuuge company, a fact we particularly love when it's doing well and DH gets his Christmas bonus!
6. Who is taller? DH, by 3" or so.
7. Who eats more? We are about even, although when we're both hungry DH can outpace me easily. However, the tables turn when I am pregnant!
8. Who said I love you first? Probably me, I don't remember.
9. Who mows the lawn? DH. I am incapable of maintaining my balance on our riding lawnmower on even the mildest of slopes, because I'm just congenitally klutzy.
10. Who sings better? Probably me, due to experience in choirs, but DH has a lovely voice.
11. Who does the laundry? Me. DH pitches in from time to time, but it's mostly my bailiwick.
12. Who does the dishes? Er, well it probably breaks down to be about 60/40, with me doing it slightly more often. It varies with energy level, really.
13. Who pays the bills? I do, as I am the CFO for our little family enterprise.
14. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? DH.
15. Who cooks dinner? DH. I do on occasion but for the most part that is his gig...he does all the speedy chopping and prep that I am hopeless at.
16. Who is more stubborn? Definitely me...my poor children probably got a healthy dose.
17. Whose parents do we see most? It's probably my parents, but we do Skype video chats with DH's parents every weekend so sometimes it feels like we see them more.
17. Who proposed? DH
18. Who has more siblings? We both have the same number of siblings, but when it comes to first cousins DH beats me handily, and then some!
19. Who has the most friends? Probably DH. Growing up in the same place, he kept all his childhood friends and added more as he grew, whereas being a military brat I didn't really keep any childhood friends into adulthood. Most of my "long term" friends are from grad school.
20. Who wears the pants? I think it's best described (for our children) as a benevolent co-dictatorship...but if a gross infraction is committed, it's Daddy who is the final arbiter.

There ya go, Carol!

Different Types of Grandparents

My DH & I have come to the conclusion that grandparents come in two main varieties: the Engaging Type and the Observant Type. The Engaging Grandparents see their visit to the grandkids as an opportunity to interact with them extensively, and give the parents a break. They urge the parents to go away by themselves on dates, take on common chores for childcare such as diaper changing and naptime story reading, and in general want to be interacting with their grandkids as much as possible during their visit. They come prepared to put aside their own preferences and routines in favor of child face-time, and will get down on the floor every day and play with the grandkids.

Then there are the Observant Grandparents. They come for a visit with the purpose of 'seeing' the grandkids, and watching them play. They will get down and play with the grandkids, but only for brief periods of time (30 minutes or so) and then are content to go back to reading their books or watching their TV programmes. They are keen to keep on with their usual routines as much as possible, even if it means missing out on visiting time with the grandkids.

I think all grandparents eventually end up in the Observant category, due to aging and physical limitations. However, when your own kids are young, you sort of hope for the Engaging grandparents on both sides of the family, because it means that your kids at least get the benefit of fun and games and interactive play when the grandparents come to visit. Additionally, as parents you get the benefit of having some dates and time off from Constant Vigilance. Of course, this also brings some downsides. The Engaging Grandparents are more likely to engage in activities with your children that you disapprove of, like letting them do some high risk activity on the playset or eat ice cream for breakfast, etc. So while you get to enjoy the benefits, you also have to put up with the meltdowns and tantrums when the kids have to come back down to earth when Grandma and Grandpa go home. This leads to about a week lag time in our house, up to two weeks if it was a long visit, where the kiddos are mostly unhappy as DH & I reassert our household rules and behavior expectations that went out the window with the Grandparents.

On the other hand, the Observant Grandparents can be a lot of work in and of themselves, due to their need for personal routines and things "just so". It's a lot more work trying to argue with the Observant Grandparent, so it's easier to just go with their flow and deal with the consequences later. In our house, this means that we have to clean up a bunch after they leave (clutterbugs), put up with inane and seemingly random comments on society and politics at odd times in conversation, and throw away a bunch of crappy food. *shrug* So be it. And the grandkids don't get as much pleasure out of a visit from the Observant Grandparents, because there just isn't as much tomfoolery and fun and games as there is with the Engaging Grandparents. So, you can't help but feel as though your kids are somehow missing out, or that your parents aren't putting out enough of an effort to enjoy your kids as much as you do...which is of course totally unfair, because they are 32 years older than you and frankly don't have the stamina to put up with a lot of horseplay!

As you can tell, we've had a visit from Grandparents recently, specifically, my parents. I won't say which type they are (perhaps it's better to say there is a spectrum between those two identities) but I do know that I have a lot of work to do putting our house to rights, and that my kids (especially DD) will cry at the airport tomorrow and will miss them after they have gone home. I thought I was going to get a lot more done around the house and homestead, things that I find difficult to do with the kiddos in tow, but suffice it to say that did not happen. Oh well. At the very least, we booked our trip to go see DH's parents and family in Ireland, so that is something to look forward to this summer. And at least I know that for THAT visit, I won't have to worry about a tidy house!

Scrabulous and Crabby

My DH has been on me to get onto Facebook so that he could play Scrabulous with me. I pointed out that we actually have the Scrabble boardgame, we could just get that out and play it, yada yada yada, but being a techno-geek he is addicted to his laptop and finally wore me down. I set up my Facebook account and we finally had our first game of Scrabulous last night. And I LOST. I try to be a good loser most of the time, but the truth is that I am very competitive and I hate losing. Really hate it. Especially when it's a game that I know I'm good at, like Scrabble. It was really close--I lost by 4 points. Four measly points!! I pointed out to DH that he has been playing this game online for months, refreshing his memory about all the two letter words, best strategies, etc., and he just laughed at me.

Look, here is why this bothers me. Games like Scrabble and Scattergories and Trivial Pursuit have historically been MY DOMAIN. My brain likes these games, I do well at them. My DH, on the other hand, has not historically done well at any of these games. It used to be that he didn't want to play any of them with me, because I would cream his butt every single time. Now, he is all of a sudden uber-competitive with me--what gives??? I used to be the Queen of the Board Game, and now I'm not! And I admit that I don't like it! What happened to the woman who was so dissatisfied with the limited entries in Roget's Thesaurus that she had to go out and find the most comprehensive thesaurus and buy it? (The Synonym Finder, in case you wanted to know...) The gal who could string together three words starting with the same letter to get bonus points in Scattergories? Who could usually find at least ONE word in Scrabble that used all her tiles at once? Where has she gone? Because she has clearly left the building.

I used to laugh about stay at home moms who talked about exchanging their brains for a bowl full of Cheerios, but that's me! I'm there! Those clever and witty parts of my brain that could attack wordy games with gusto and come out on the winning side have gone on vacation, and I fear it is permanent. Ask me where my kids' discarded socks are! Ask me where the missing pieces to the Lil People farm are! Ask me the best place to put the recycling before it goes outside to keep our son out of it! Ask me what are the three most pressing projects around our house/lot, and when all the bills are due! Where's the board game for that?? Because I'm good at that right now! Yet another example, as if one were needed, of how even in the little things all the things moms do are just lost in the background noise, and totally unrewarded by daily life. *sigh* Yet more fodder for feeling low in life station (as if it were needed...sheesh, it's work to convince oneself that housework & happy, healthy kids are reward enough, even though they clearly ARE). And people wonder why SAHMs sometimes feel a bit blue. I just want to know, do you get back those pieces of yourself that you set aside or somehow lose along the way?

The Hot Spot

Well, we finally did it. We kicked DS out of our room. It only took us 13 months, but we got there in the end. In the process, we dismantled our only guest room, taking the twin beds apart and storing them and their mattresses in our cottage for future deployment when it's transformed from "That Place Where We Store Stuff" to "The Guest Cottage". Which, *ahem*, should happen by Christmas, seeing as we have visitors scheduled, and otherwise we will be offering our poor quality sleeper sofa and an air mattress.

The funny thing is, I was less prepared for this transition than DS apparently was. DH & I worked throughout the day on Monday to get it ready, and I had great fun vacuuming, and hanging pictures, and tidying away his toys into their designated spots, safely ensconced in his room and thus more easily defended from his grabby sister. Both of the kids enjoyed the chaos as we set everything up, and swirled around us as we argued over how to arrange the track for the ceiling fixture (more proof that DIY = fighting, as if any were needed), and where to set the dresser, etc. Finally it was all done and DS surveyed his new kingdom with a quiet kind of pleasure; while I finally realized that he was really going to start SLEEPING in there and not in our bedroom.

DH has been anxiously awaiting this day. While he is totally supportive of co-sleeping and has had no trouble sharing our room and our bed with our little guy, once they start sleeping diagonally across the bed and taking up half of it, he gets a little antsy to get the baby out of the room. And needless to say it does nothing for one's sex life to have a little person in bed with you. And there are the countless other small pleasures that are lost: watching a DVD together in bed, reading together in bed, having dessert in bed, talking before going to sleep, etc. It's a bit much at times, and it's not easy when you wake up in the middle of the night wide awake either. It's with some trepidation that either of us decides to sit up in bed and turn on a miniscule light to read or do puzzles when we have insomnia, and always alert for the sound of a little person waking up.

No, I am not going to miss any of that. However, I was surprised at the depth of my 'mourning', if you will, at not having my little guy snoozing away in our room. Eventually he will not wake up in the middle of the night in his crib, and will just snooze away the whole night in his own bedroom. I know this is the point, I know that is exactly what we have been working toward and aiming for...and certainly the fact that DS has embraced his room as his own little kingdom and enjoys spending time in there is a testament to his readiness to embrace independent sleeping. Hooray! Now if only I could stop myself from sniffling a little bit, because my baby is already showing signs that he's not my baby any more. DH is already on the alert for the Broodiness Factor®, looking out for little drugstore bags holding suspicious pencil-shaped objects, ready for deployment in the bathroom early in the morning. He needn't worry...DS is still enough of a baby to satisfy me for now. But in another six months, all bets are off! *sniff*

La La La...I Can't Hear You

If I just pretend that my house doesn't need to be cleaned, that there aren't a dozen more Christmas decorations to be put up, that my daughter isn't spreading mayhem and chaos around the living room, and that my son WILL stay asleep and not wake up in an hour's time, I can quite successfully delude myself that I have enough time to post a blog and catch up on some internet reading. Yep, nothing pending here! Nope, we're just fine and dandy, all ready for that party tomorrow, thanks!

I think DH is a bit peeved with me, because after a whole day of attempting to get stuff DONE for the party, and being stymied at every turn by a myriad of other responsibilities and whining children and naptimes and lunchtimes, I declared myself non compus mentus at approximately 5:36 pm and trooped out of the house by myself, leaving DH to shepherd the children through last minute errand running after getting out of a two hour and twenty minute work call at 5:35:50. He just stared at me blankly when I put on my jacket and said I was leaving, assumed I was pissed at him, and I left for my sanity break.

And believe me, it was a sanity break. I'm just not up for this whole house cleaning and vacuuming and mopping and toilet cleaning at the last minute gig any more. Thank you, I'm done now, can I check out? Yeah. So over the whole housecleaning thing. What I could not tell my DH and really had to take some time to figure out myself is that I am burned out on doing all the vacuuming, mopping, schlepping of recycling and trash to the bins, etc. Don't get me wrong. DH does pitch in and do his fair share. But as I've mentioned before, you get tired of doing the same old things, and, well, you don't want to do them any more. Or at least not for a while. Unfortunately for DH, this realization has occurred approximately 17 hours before our party. D'oh!

I don't know if I'm going to be in the mood to do it tomorrow, either, to be honest. I'm kind of peeved about the last minute pattern we've got going, wherein I do all the sweaty cleaning and DH preps the food. Well, I think I'd like to do food prep tomorrow, thanks. Somehow tidying up our small kitchen and slicing cheese and arranging food on trays seems more appealing than wrestling our vacuum cleaner around the house, or scrubbing the toilets, or cleaning the birdcage and moving the decaying Halloween pumpkins (finally, although to be fair we never go in or out the front door so we just forgot about them until I swept the walks today) to the compost pile. Yep, food prep sounds pretty good to me right now. I don't even care if I put up the rest of the decorations--as far as I'm concerned, I can throw my pretty red velvet tablecloth on the dining room table and prop up a wreath on the sideboard and call it good. I don't even care that our pretty crystal isn't artfully arranged on our display shelf in the living room. Ok, maybe I care just a little. But, the point being, I don't want to do the cleaning. And, well, when your husband has just gotten off a 2+ hour work call and is going to schlep two tired and cranky kids to two stores (one of which is Costco), well, how do you say that to him?

The answer, of course, is you blog about it. So there you go dear. Finally, the answer to your question. Good luck with that toilet bowl.

P.S.

My DH just walked into the closed bathroom door. LMAO!! *Snort!* It's the little things.

A Mommy Time-Out

Well, here I am at the end of another insane day, and I just need a bit of space. Yesterday DH had to stay late in work for a "team building" dinner (and you know how fond I am of those) and after dealing with the kids all day by myself, I really needed a break THEN. However, that was not possible, obviously, so I am doing the next best thing, which is a break now. I have given myself permission to have a cocktail, to put my feet up on my bed, surf the net, watch an egregiously 'chick' flick ("Emma", if you must know), and pretend to fold some laundry but not really crank it out, just fold enough so that we can actually sleep in our bed tonight.

I might even have dinner in here. Considering that all I want to eat is a salad, this is quite appealing. There are positives here for everyone, except perhaps DH, who is tired after working all day. Of course, as he well appreciates, I have been working all day too. The end of the day is a tiring time for everyone--moms, dads, and kids. Let us hope we can all get through it with gracious aplomb and not a sea of moaning and irritation.

Part of today's chaos was holiday-related, naturally. I had set myself a semi-serious deadline of TODAY to mail off the IL's Christmas gifts, after having the panic of postal delays in previous years. I did my small grocery shop this morning with two somewhat cranky kids in tow, and of course I had forgotten entirely about my mail-in ballot for today's elections. Since I was determined to vote, that meant we had to go out again this afternoon, and thus I was unable to come up with a good excuse to delay further on boxing up all the IL's gifts and sending them on their way.

Naturally, I forgot until the last second the little souvenirs we bought for everybody from our Yellowstone vacation, which granted me another small bounty of gifts that needed to be agonized over, slowly deciding who should get what jam or tea towels to be wrapped. DD was of great help with the tags, lovingly embellishing with her script or jazzy happy faces. She was also most insistent on putting on the tape by herself, thank you very much Mommy! And DS was bemused by the flurry and somewhat annoyed that he was confined away from the action. When I finally freed DS from his confinement in his exersaucer, he happily surprised me and entertained himself with the wrapping paper (fine) instead of the packing peanuts (choking hazard).

Then, having found the one box sans egregious moving company labels (unacceptable on international packages), I laboriously patched the couple of weak points with packaging tape, and sealed it all up...to turn around and find a lone gift, removed by DD--"I was helping you, Mommy!" Er, thanks! Luckily, I already have to mail another smaller box, due to some items that are on order, so I can just toss that one in too. *phew*

The kids were (mostly) behaved at the post office, I choked at the price of international postage for the (large) box and sweated bullets while the postal clerk consulted his enormous book to make sure my box wasn't too big for An Post. I squeaked under the limits on that one, and got my ballot mailed off. Mission accomplished. I even managed to do a craft with DD this morning, which was quite spur of the moment and quite a hit.

So it really was a good day, even with the insanity of holiday parcels and post offices and shopping. That being said, I still find it necessary to recuperate from yesterday's irritations, including a very irritable DS and an annoyed DD, who was quite peeved when Daddy wasn't home at the appointed time. And it's good for the kids to get some one-on-one time with Daddy when I'm not in the same room. I just hope the kids continue being SO GOOD, for DH's sake. I know he's tired too...I just need a bit of a mommy time-out. And thankfully, DH is a BRILLIANT MAN and understands this need. Thank the good LORD for good husbands!