Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Mature & Together

Those were the two words that leapt out at me recently when a friend from church described her surprise to learn that I am the youngest child in my family. Apparently I am perceived as being very mature and "having it all together". Haha! This kind woman has never visited my house during the week.

You see, I have been doing the women's Bible study thing for about a year now, and I really enjoy doing it. The reason I enjoy doing it is that I have realized exactly how much I don't know about the Bible and God, and it struck me that this was not a good thing. Indeed, I can count numerous examples of friends and family who have been hoodwinked occasionally by the newest fad or socially acceptable practices because they did not know what the Bible had to say on those subjects. So, I recognized a grave lack in myself (and I do think it is a grave lack, that is, a very serious omission on my part as a Christian) and have started what I feel are the first small steps toward rectifying it before I pass on my destructive ignorance to my children.

This kind lady has not seen me at my worst, but God has. While my cluttered house goes unseen by church friends and visiting family, God knows that I can be a lazy @ss sometimes, sitting around on the internet instead of cleaning my house, doing my laundry, emptying my trash, or doing the dirty dishes. She hasn't seen the dirty dishes piled up haphazardly above the dishwasher because I haven't emptied the clean dishes out of it yet. She hasn't seen the eight loads' worth of dirty laundry piled up in the corner of my bedroom, waiting for me to gather up the energy and commitment to do it all. She certainly hasn't seen the dust bunnies the size of Rottweilers under my bed (and just as mean). And she hasn't seen me totally lose it because my DD has pushed one too many buttons and I flip out over something stupid, that requires me to apologize to her later for getting mad about whatever minor thing it was she was doing. And she certainly hasn't seen my very weedy vegetable garden, which probably would grow a lot better if I cleared out all the weeds around the veggie plants.

That is me at my worst, and frankly, it's the norm. I am not "all together" most days. Those days are rare. I hope they are increasing in frequency, but I can say the messy house and messy me is more the norm. And really, that is true of my Christian walk, too. I need commitment and hard work required to keep me keepin' on with getting to know God & the Bible better. I know it's essential, and hence, the women's Bible study. Accountability is a beautiful thing.

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