Parenting Cheaply

A friend posted a BBC article to their Facebook page recently. It was from the BBC, touting the increased pressures of child-rearing these days, and estimated the cost for raising a child to be more than £210,000! In the article they talk about how everything is about fashion and design in baby gear, how you can spend £1200 on a stroller, and that everything needs to be coordinated in the nursery. People are spending more on their kids' clothes than I spend on mine (which admittedly is not much, but still folks, your kid does not need designer baby clothes).

Then on the radio I hear parents talking about how busy they are, taking their son to baseball practice, daughter to violin lessons, both of them to karate lessons, plus piano lessons, plus language lessons. Really, this is important for a six year old? An eight year old?

I tell you what, I must be a miserable parent, because I buy my kids clothes on clearance and sometimes the thrift store, and I don't care what brand it is as long as it fits. I don't take my kids to ANY lessons. They go to and from school, and they play outside when the weather is nice and they play inside when it's not nice. They don't have Gameboys or DS's, or iPods. They don't know how to use the Wii other than to do Wii bowling about every two months or so. They don't really want to learn how to play the Wii, to be honest. Is that because my husband and I don't play it that much either? Possibly. My kindergartener can navigate around a bit on the old desktop, where she is allowed to go to two websites to play games. She does this about...well, I can't remember when she did it last.

I tell you what my kids do. They fold their own laundry (except for the baby). They earn quarters for doing extra chores, and they are expected to keep their rooms navigable and to bus their own table, so to speak. They help put away the dishes. They match socks. They even (occasionally) help pull weeds outside. They play with each other, all sorts of crazy imaginative games. They ride their bikes (very popular this year). They draw with chalk, they do their own crafts, they play with the harps or drums or keyboard, they make up silly songs, they dance around to the radio. They play with worms outside, dig in the dirt, plant flower seeds and veggies, and eat strawberries straight from the plants when they are in season. Pretty terrible life, huh?

I just look at all these kids with schedules so complicated their parents need to use their Blackberry to keep track of them, and I wonder--what the heck are those kids going to remember about their childhood? I know it's a novel thought, but what about just letting kids be kids? Yes, it is more work for parents, because somebody else isn't supervising them, they have to learn to get along with each other, and they have to be creative about how to entertain themselves or play by themselves. They have to learn to judge what is a good idea and what is a bad idea when it comes to entertaining themselves (drenching Mom with a hose while she gardens? Bad! Stacking rocks & building a rock fort? Good!) I don't think my kids are going to be deprived in high school for not doing dance, band, every sport imaginable, and music lessons from the age of four. Somehow I managed just fine and turned out to be successful, and I'm pretty sure my kids can too. So why spend the money and deal with the stress, and stress out your kids? I just don't get it!