Order to Chaos and Back Again

We have some friends who are expecting their first child in the next month. The mom-to-be reminds me of myself when we were expecting DD, because I was a complete Control Freak™ and could not leave even the smallest detail within my purview to chance. I had to know whether we were having a boy or a girl, because I didn't want to be exchanging or returning endless baby items with a newborn. I also wanted to have the Perfect Nursery®, such that it would be suitable for a boy or a girl (just in case, you know) and would be a room they could "grow into" rather than a baby room that would be outdated in a year's time. I probably drove my DH a bit crazy with my nesting and planning, because all of the big unknowns were Scary and Big and Unpredictable, and that freaks out people like me who have to KNOW what is coming next, or delude ourselves into thinking we can KNOW, anyway.

So when we hear these friends talk about what they are going to do for their child, DH & I exchange knowing glances and smother a bit of a smirk. The fact is, it's impossible to know how you will parent before your child is born, because there is a third person in the equation...and well, you don't get to know him or her until they arrive, so it's all a big surprise and constant changes along the way. They are talking about how they are going to do cloth diapers, and she is going to be a SAHM, and they are going to more frugal than before, etc etc. They are not going to do the co-sleeping/attachment parenting thing...disclosures by ourselves and other mutual friends that we ended up co-sleeping with our kiddos was met with a bit of disapproval and a bit of "we won't be doing that" looks between the parents-to-be. *smirk*

I don't mean to poke fun of my friends (okay well maybe a little), but I don't think they know what they are in for. The entire definition of "Normal®" changes, and you just cannot predict how you are going to react to that, or how your whole household will react. You go from having a house that is just dusty and maybe needs a vacuum, to a house that looks like this:

Let me see--we have pillows and boxes from elsewhere in the house strewn about the living room...dried out baby wipes plus used tissues...an assortment of books...miscellaneous toys...flashcards (3 different packs) strewn about...alphabet stickers (yes, stickers) all over the floor (mercifully only a FEW actually stuck down). All this was wrought, I might add, by DS, who is 15 months' old. Had DD joined in the fray, I am not sure you would be able to see the floor. And the photos do not capture the spilled, melted vanilla frappuccino which DS helped himself to when I went to the bathroom ALONE, gloriously alone, unencumbered by a three year old asking to 'help' me wipe or a baby climbing everything in his path or unrolling the toilet paper while I wash my hands, ALONE, yip-pee! . Erg, note to self, it's better to take the children WITH YOU to the bathroom.

Anyway, how can anyone prepare themselves for this? You can't! This is Normal® in this house, folks. I didn't even bat an eye. I popped out the Swiffer WetJet, incarcerated DS in his high chair, did the first pass on the spilled frappuccino, then proceeded to scoop up the innumerable alphabet foam stickers (I must find a better place to put those...), sort out the flashcards and tidy them away, and then release the whining DS from his high chair so he could attempt to 'help' me put together four of DD's puzzles which were flung about in the corner (out of view in the pictures). I find the dining room floor is still slightly sticky, so I might WetJet it again later, when the kids are in bed. Then again, I might leave it until the normal mop/vacuum day on Friday (probably not though, I hate sticky floors underfoot).

Don't pat me on the back. It's taken me nearly two years to get it together enough to manage this much. Maybe by next year I will actually get the fronts of my kitchen cabinets clean, as they are currently sadly in need of a cleaning with spills and splatters everywhere (and this is quite noticeable on cream paint, which probably makes our guests think we are slovenly slobs of the highest order). I'm going to be there for my friend while she makes the HUGE transition from a "career", however much or little she currently values it, to a job which encompasses many paid avenues of employment but is priceless in value. I will be there for her when she feels like she can't get it together, and I will rejoice with her when she makes things work for her. My bet is on cloth diapering working for them, I think they can do it. As for all the rest...well, it's good to feel prepared before the birth of a little one. If myself, DH, and the rest of their friends can demonstrate to them after their child's birth that it's okay to feel unprepared and adrift from one's research and leanings pre-childbirth, well, then we will do our jobs as their good friends. Let's wish them luck.

The Spare

As I reflect back on the chaos and anarchy of the past few hours of today, I am mindful of a parenting adage which I will have to pass on to my friend, whose baby shower I unfortunately spaced on today. And that is, "If they have a 'lovey', keep a spare."

I didn't think DD was going to be attached to any one particular stuffed animal or blanket or whatnot, and indeed for the first two and a half years she didn't develop any particular affections. She did go through a spurt of wanting a set of farm animals (small, thank goodness) in bed with her, but those fell out of favor and then there was a long spell in which she was happy to just be surrounded with an assortment of stuffed animals and blankets at bedtime, with her stories read to her while she lay (drowsily, if we were lucky) cocooned and listening to the bedtime stories and asking for water, etc.

A few months ago, however, it became clear that one of the stuffed animals was an absolute necessity at bedtime, and that is, Lamby. Fortunately for us, we have two Lambs, which kind friends bequeathed as baby gifts. So we were set with Lamb and the Spare. Various misfortunes have befallen Lamby, and the original was jammed with strawberry jam. I decided to wash Lamby, and then found a de-stuffed Lamb in the dryer, with bits of polyester fluff clinging to all the clothes. I dutifully removed all the fluff, re-stuffed Lamby, and then let it sit on the dryer for about four or five months, because I needed to re-stitch the seams and didn't bother doing it right then. The spare was deployed, and all was well.

Then there came today. Today was wildly busy, with a free playset to be collected (DH's job, it took 2+ hours to disassemble and bring home the bits), more frenetic garden work to be done, kids to be fed/entertained/napped/etc., and a baby shower to be attended. We got the playset, but it will take a good few weeks to get it re-assembled, thanks to some new hardware that needs to be purchased (bolts, etc). So that is all stacked up next to our cottage. The kids were up early, slept poorly last night, and so napped early too. DD had a meltdown in the parking lot at Costco, so I nixed that shopping trip and deployed fast food (drive-thru) for lunch, an hour earlier than normal. I got the kids in bed for their naps, then slogged through digging the rest of the mounded beds in our veggie garden. Kids were up, all were at play outside, while DH broke out the weed whacker (firepit ring), then the chainsaw (fallen tree branches from December). I borrowed the neighbor's front-loader to do the last line of digging in the veggie bed, turned our compost piles, and in a fit of what can only be called insanity, called and invited a friend and the two college student choir members they are hosting for the evening before our church concert tomorrow, for dinner.

That is when it all went absolutely chaotic. Our friend showed up, and the two amiable college students settled in. My daughter was tired and out of sorts, but I had no idea how out of sorts until she threw up all over herself in the kitchen. Erg, okay...a once-off? I got her cleaned up, put on her jammies, and let her watch a video on the computer. Rounded up the guests, headed out to the deck to enjoy the great outdoors for dinner, and then came back in to DD puking again, all over the computer chair and herself. OH. Dear. I excused myself, gave her a bath, got her cleaned up, calmed down, in a new pair of jammies, and she insisted on coming out to the deck because she wanted to see our friend. Ok, fine. Nothing to eat except 2 teaspoons of apple sauce, which she didn't touch. Only water.

Well, she couldn't keep water down. She's on her fourth pair of pajamas. Our friend and her college student choir guests fled shortly thereafter, with us praying that they don't catch whatever bug DD has. DS spit up once, as if testing us, so we're praying he doesn't have it, too. I have emergency laundry loads cycling through the washer & dryer. I am not sure if our computer chair (upholstered, unfortunately) will ever be clean again...I will have to borrow a steam cleaner for it. And DD, bless her heart, went to bed asking for more water, which we would not give her...and Lamby. The last time she threw up, she hit Lamby too.

So, here I sat, with needle and white thread, and the spare Lamby, finally sewing it back together after months of sitting on the dryer. In about five minutes I had whipstitched the seam, and if a little lumpy, it was at least in one piece and ready for cuddling and nighttime reassuring. I brought Lamby in to DD, who was snuggled down and looking a little wan. "Why does it look like this?" she asked. Clearly it looked somehow different. DH assured her it was because I cleaned Lamby, since she 'spit up' on it; and that placated her and she snuggled quite happily with her little Lamby. I hope Lamby keeps her cozy and content all night.

I Am a Slow Learner, Part II

Also subtitled, I'm a Complete Idiot Chemist Turned Housewife; or, alternatively, Laundry Disaster Day.

I am generally good at keeping our clothes in a state of acceptable cleanliness, and pride myself on being about to treat tough stains mostly successfully, even when they are a few days old. Remember the old saying, 'pride goeth before a fall'? Well, welcome to my fall.

Today, I decided to do laundry. This was a bad move on my part, I think. Yes, I had a small mountain of laundry, but it was only 2 loads' worth, and could easily have sat happily until Monday, which is the normally designated Laundry Day in this house. I am happy spending Monday moving clothes from washing machine to dryer, and try to get all the stained kids' clothes in the first load so I can re-treat for stains and get them all the way through on successive loads.

However, tonight we have a babysitter coming over, one of our neighbors, and the sin of house pride got to me and I decided I did not want to have a small mountain of dirty clothes sitting in the designated dirty clothes corner in our bedroom, so I moved them to the laundry room. Since I was in there, I figured, hey, let's do the laundry, why not; and proceeded to pile in a bunch of clothes, including a few new hand-me-downs from another neighbor.

I trooped outside with the kiddos and dutifully played with them for an hour when it became clear they were not going to tolerate my foostering around in the veggie patch again, and we came inside and I swooshed off to attend to the laundry, feeling very good at jumping ahead on this chore. So what if the floors need vacuuming? I'll get to that later, let's get this laundry humming. Open washing machine lid, take out clothes...hmmmm, I'm seeing pink...lots of pink. Drat! That new-to-me burgundy cardigan from the neighbor must have run. Yep.

*sigh* Ok, let me see what I've got--I'm pretty sure I've got a color run remover in here somewhere. *rummage, rummage through laundry room cabinets* Aha! Here it is! Oh wait, this is only for one garment...*rummage some more* Aha, thought I had one for the whole (mixed color) load. (Can you see where this is going?)

*scant glance at directions* Ok, hot water, check, let it soak, check...*dump in packet and step back feeling pleased with myself* I wonder what's in this stuff anyway? *more careful glance at ingredients* Sodium hydrosulfite...*trained chemistry brain engages* $#%#@%%!!!!

*opens lid again* Yep, let me see...what damage have I wreaked in the scant one minute of hot water plus strong reducing agent. DD's light pink shirt, now white. I can live with that. My white shirt returning to white from pink...well that's good. DS' new pajama pants, turning from bright green to sickly green-yellow...erg, not so good. Ditto the fire engine new PJ pants. A pale green shirt I wasn't particularly fond of is now a sickly yellow. DH's Yellowstone t-shirt, whose red dye is now splotched with yellow on the side. I'm starting to feel guilty now. My expensive J. Jill silk blend pants...once a beautiful pale aquamarine, now faded with yellow splotches. Ouch.

I stopped the damage tally and decided to remove all colored clothing items from the wash at that point. Well, almost all--I left the PJ pants in because I figured they would look better being homogenously de-colorized, to whatever extent they were not colorfast. And at least DH's dress shirts (2 of them) suffered no ill-effects...apparently they are good colorfast fabrics. I will wash the damaged clothes next, and just live with the results. I might attempt to re-dye the J. Jill pants with some Rit, maybe a darker overall color. But here is yet more evidence that it doesn't matter how educated you are, you can still be a complete doofus idiot at times. *sigh* I should sign this, the Laundry Doofus.

I Am a Slow Learner

So, I moved from a state with sunshine about 95% of the time, to a state where rain is the prevalent weather condition and when it's not raining, the kids think the sky is normally gray because blue skies only happen for maybe one month in the summertime. You'd think that, knowing this empirically, I would have learned last year to let the children OUT dabnabbit whenever it's somewhat nice outside! But no, I spent last year keeping poor DD cooped up on perfectly fine (if somewhat cold & windy) days during early spring and early fall.

"It's too cold out," I would say.
"It looks like it's going to rain."
"It's too windy to play outside."

Really, what was I thinking?? It ALWAYS looks like it is going to rain here. And "too windy" to play outside? *Guffaw!* Puh-leeze! If they're not getting blown over and trees are not crashing to the ground, it's not too windy.

There are so many benefits to letting the kids gambol about the yard. For one, I can get some gardening work done. Yes I might be interrupted by having to help get DS in and out of DD's Jeep, or helping him down steps, but I can still get a decent amount of work done.

The kids also get a healthy dose of vitamin D, thanks to the (sometimes weak) sunshine, which they need. They run around and explore and generally enjoy the freedom to get into most everything without having DH or I say "no!" a bazillion times. DD rejoices in every worm I find, and watches bugs, follows spiders, and rhapsodizes about any green tree frogs we find. DS loves feeling the dirt, and will happily plonk himself near me with his little blue shovel, digging away in a pile of dirt.

They come in exhausted and ready for a good nap or good night's sleep. Yes, baths might be a bit more frequent, but exhausted kids are good, because exhausted kids sleep deeply and well. Not many bad dreams or quibbles intrude on the sleep of the truly exhausted child.

So this year, we are going outside whenever it is not pouring. Jackets will be zipped, hoods will be deployed during sprinkles, and we will all enjoy the garden while we can. I know that all too soon fall will be nipping and it will actually be too cold to be outside. In WA our slogan will be, make garden fun while the sun shines.

25 Lbs of Flour

In case you hadn't noticed, grocery prices are climbing through the roof. All dairy products have gone sky-high, eggs have gone sky-high, and now flour and wheat products are skyrocketing. And buckle up, kids, because the ride isn't over yet. Whether it's the fault of increasing demand for biofuels or global warming, we can all expect to continue paying record prices not just for our gasoline, but also for our food. When you're on a limited budget and trying to stretch your food dollars, it makes you consider how much milk your family consumes on a weekly basis and whether you could cut down a bit.

In an effort to assist our bottom line, I am breaking out some new frugal techniques to get the most bang for our food buck. I've already stockpiled a supply of frozen loaves of bread, good enough to last our family for at least four more months. I'm seriously considering buying powdered milk and using that in recipes instead of regular milk, but I've put the idea on pause for the time being because honestly I don't have that many recipes that call for milk instead of water or cream. We use a lot of cream and we drink a lot of milk. I am thinking about switching to mostly soy milk, but that's not any less expensive and would really be for my own health. It would do nothing to help our grocery budget.

I have also eliminated the mental 'necessity' of a weekly trip to the grocery store. We are pretty well stocked up on most things, so I've just been coasting along on what we have instead of gleaning bargains from the Grocery Game. At this stage of the game, unless I know we will consume it in the coming month or so, I am not buying it. This will force us to use what we already have, as opposed to switching to the new thing just because it's new in the pantry and we want a change. This should lead to less waste, in theory. I've also been re-purposing things like leftover Easter candy. I had a lot of chocolate eggs left over when our neighborhood Easter egg hunt was cancelled due to rain, so I packaged them all up in two gallon size Ziploc bags. Instead of using chocolate chips in cookies, I'm pounding up the mini Cadburys eggs and using those as sort of broken up M&M chunks. I will probably break down and unwrap all the Hersheys eggs to use in a similar manner.

And I finally yielded and bought a 25 lb bag of flour at Costco, along with a 10 lb bag of white sugar. I was tempted by the bag of organic sugar, but to paraphase the words of Marge Simpson, "We can't afford to shop with a philosophy." I'm not sure how I'm going to store the flour yet. I have a shelf open in the second freezer, so that will probably become the receptacle for at least 10 lbs of flour. I don't have designated Tupperware containers, which could prove problematic. I have a couple of large ones though that I can designate as the freezer flour containers, seeing as I hardly use them anyway. Or I can stick with my popular gallon size freezer bags and just scoop away until I've whittled down the in-house supply. Even with the 25 lb bag, I received a sticker shock with the price tag of $9.79. I remember contemplating the flour purchase a month ago and it was only $7.99! That's a 22% increase in a month--ridiculous!

I also bought an enormous quantity of yeast. I am going to go forth with yeast breads and such to see if we can avoid paying exorbitant costs for French bread and plain sandwich bread when we finish up our frozen supply. I have copied Tamarian's blog about her current favorite bread recipe, and I plan to play around with it once I get the hang of it, adding other grains to try to mimic our favorite (but pricey) 8 grain bread from Costco. If I can get the hang of making flour tortillas and naan bread, I will be golden!

I'm also going to be deadly serious about our vegetable garden this year. I am not keen to pay for things which I can grow myself, and fortunately DS is old enough this year to play outside for a bit while I do a bit of maintaining the garden. Hopefully DD will be helpful in keeping him entertained, if not actually helpful in maintaining the garden. I will have to wait a few years for our fruit trees to yield fruit, so I am just going to have to hope for some scores on fruit from eastern WA this summer and fall, or perhaps at our local farmers markets. There are always our neighbors' fruit trees, too. I am asking for the Ball Book of Canning, so I can learn how to safely put up some of these goodies. And I hope to get enough tomatoes from the garden to make some basic marinara sauce and can that, saving us on some pricey Trader Joe's pizza & marinara sauces.

It's all going to be part of the continuing education curve for the whole grocery budget, but there is nothing to be gained from just seeing a larger part of our budget eaten up by rising food costs. I can try my best to save us some money and get us a little more self-sufficient in the process, which I think is a good lesson in frugality in and of itself. The more flexibility in the budget, the faster we pay off debt and get really rolling with retirement and other savings vehicles. It's all part of contributing to our bottom line.

So, how are you coping with the food price pinch?

The Back-burnered Life

One of the things that I find the most striking, in a curious, wannabe-sociologist observational kind of way, is how many parts of myself get back-burnered by this phase of my life. I don't mean just staying at home, but also being a parent as opposed to a young married gal. It's like we pack away parts of ourselves and put them on the shelf for the time being, hoping that someday we get to come back to them and remember those bits again and delve back in to that part of our personalities.

Take my love of music and learning to play the harp. I had been taking harp lessons for a good few years before DD was born. I was getting to that tricky intermediate stage, where I really had to force myself to step away from writing in notes and put some real effort into music theory and learning to sight read music. I was involved in that, I was progressing enough with my playing to be ready to get into trickier pieces, and then I had my DD. That put a burp in my playing, and when I started to re-engage slowly, we moved away. I have to tell you, harp teachers are not thick on the ground, so I am somewhat out of luck, and probably will remain so until I am willing and able to travel into Seattle at least weekly for lessons. I am guessing that I am not going to find a harp teacher anywhere on this side of the water, so I'm thinking I am going to be waiting until my kids are significantly older.

Likewise I was very fond of singing in the choir at church. I really enjoyed singing and was one of the 'powerhouse' altos who could help others out with finding the right notes and blending well. I had some difficulties with the choir time commitments and some political issues that were taking place, so I quit shortly before we moved, and was happier for it. But I still miss it. And our church here doesn't have a choir, so I'm SOL unless I want to commit to being part of the worship team. Er, no thanks...and again, the kiddos are a concern. We are not able to commit to extended stretches of time with the kids, because they simply aren't old enough to handle it. That, too, has been packed away and put on a shelf until I have time for it again.

On the other hand, I get to unpack some things that were on the shelf while I was working full-time and being a single-minded career woman. I really didn't get a chance to indulge my love of baking when I was working full-time. Nowadays I regularly whip up new recipes and tweak old ones to make them better, and I actually use all of my expensive gadgets. I'm venturing out into the worlds of bread-making and candy making, and I find it's very enjoyable to be so domesticated on the kitchen front. Knowing that, after eight years of marriage to the capable (and catering trained) DH, I could probably handle a celebratory dinner for family by myself is tremendously empowering. I don't use recipes for cooking any more, either, which DH views as a sign of his successful influence. I might not be Gordon Ramsey, but I'm no slouch either.

I also am really getting to indulge my love of gardening. I loved Arizona, but choices were rather limited in terms of plant varieties. I also was not really able to grow many vegetables, despite my best efforts. Strawberries were annuals, being routinely turned to crispy brown in the summer, despite our installation of a great watering system with its own timer for the veggie area. Here in Washington, I have beautiful loamy soil to work with, a large yard in which to do so, and plenty of scope for plant variety. There are actual seasons here, with pretty fall color not just a possibility but pretty much guaranteed. And the native plants aren't usually covered in thorns or spiky bits, nor do they produce pollen with protusions the size of the Empire State Building, microscopically speaking. My nasal cavities and sinuses are much happier amongst the friendly plant denizens in Washington. I find worms in the soil on a regular basis, and when I plant things, they are likely to LIVE! This is great stuff for a gardener, I'm telling you. And the veggies I can grow, well, that I should be able to grow...it's good stuff. I do miss my spring crops of young praying mantids abounding in our garden in Arizona, but I can live with their absence. Finding a salamander in my yard and encountering green tree frogs has its own special charms.

ANYWHO, before I continue to rhapsodize about my garden and its wildlife, let me return to my original point, which is this: it's okay that bits of you get set aside sometimes, even if it's for a long while. Because eventually, you will probably get back to them, and if you don't, then they are probably not bits you wanted to keep anyway. It's kind of like a garage sale for your psyche--you clean out the stuff you haven't used for a while and know you're not likely to use again, you box up the stuff you like but don't have time for right now, and you find new bits that you didn't know you had and hey, this is kind of fun here! Sort of like making some big changes when you become a parent, or you move. It's hard to see how it will all pan out, but eventually the good bits you had to back-burner will re-emerge, and for the time being you can enjoy all the other good bits. Or something like that.

Tag, You're It!

Well my friend Carol tagged me to answer these questions so I will comply as much as possible...bearing in mind that I will keep names private if I haven't mentioned them before!

1. Our names: Allison & DH
2. How long have we been married? 8 years this May
3.How long did we date? It's a long story, but it was 10 months after we met that we got engaged, and 13 months after that we were married.
4. How old are we? 32
5. Where does he work? For Siemens, which is a huuuuuuge company, a fact we particularly love when it's doing well and DH gets his Christmas bonus!
6. Who is taller? DH, by 3" or so.
7. Who eats more? We are about even, although when we're both hungry DH can outpace me easily. However, the tables turn when I am pregnant!
8. Who said I love you first? Probably me, I don't remember.
9. Who mows the lawn? DH. I am incapable of maintaining my balance on our riding lawnmower on even the mildest of slopes, because I'm just congenitally klutzy.
10. Who sings better? Probably me, due to experience in choirs, but DH has a lovely voice.
11. Who does the laundry? Me. DH pitches in from time to time, but it's mostly my bailiwick.
12. Who does the dishes? Er, well it probably breaks down to be about 60/40, with me doing it slightly more often. It varies with energy level, really.
13. Who pays the bills? I do, as I am the CFO for our little family enterprise.
14. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? DH.
15. Who cooks dinner? DH. I do on occasion but for the most part that is his gig...he does all the speedy chopping and prep that I am hopeless at.
16. Who is more stubborn? Definitely me...my poor children probably got a healthy dose.
17. Whose parents do we see most? It's probably my parents, but we do Skype video chats with DH's parents every weekend so sometimes it feels like we see them more.
17. Who proposed? DH
18. Who has more siblings? We both have the same number of siblings, but when it comes to first cousins DH beats me handily, and then some!
19. Who has the most friends? Probably DH. Growing up in the same place, he kept all his childhood friends and added more as he grew, whereas being a military brat I didn't really keep any childhood friends into adulthood. Most of my "long term" friends are from grad school.
20. Who wears the pants? I think it's best described (for our children) as a benevolent co-dictatorship...but if a gross infraction is committed, it's Daddy who is the final arbiter.

There ya go, Carol!

The Spring Clean and the Ubiquitous Baby Wipe

Well, I think I am just about done with our spring cleaning. I have yet to clean under our bed in our bedroom, but I will probably get to that eventually (I'm thinking May?) and since we are so close to being done I am declaring it a successful cleaning season and moving on with maintaining it.

Instead of having one big party on St. Patrick's Day which necessitated cleaning the entire house, top to bottom, we had a series of smaller events with company for Easter lunch, family visiting, and then playdates that sparked a series of successive cleaning events for me, culminating in today's totally clean & mostly organized house. I even cleaned and organized our shoe rack, a feat which evades me about half the year. Our bird is thankful for a clean cage, top to bottom, and spent yesterday preening and offering noises of contentment whenever I passed by. The kids' rooms got organized and cleaned as well. I managed to get most toy bits and pieces assembled with others of their kind, so even if all of DD's puzzles aren't put together, all the puzzle pieces are there with the puzzle backings. I've conceded the futility of keeping her play food organized appropriately by type (i.e. true 'refrigerator' foods in the fridge, etc.) (Yes I know it was a bit anal retentive but I was hoping to teach food safety...live and learn.)

Which brings me to the increasing presence of baby wipes in my cleaning routine. I use them for everything! I clean the coffee table with them, the tv screens, the kids' hands and faces after messy meals, for dusting in lieu of my Swiffer duster (when I can't find it), and now I have even gone as far as to clean the hardwood floors with baby wipes! I was running a bit ragged getting ready for our playdate yesterday, and both children had some spills on their floors--some chocolate milk spots all over DD's room, and a rogue cookie that was smashed into the floor under the rocker in DS's room. I used two baby wipes to obliterate the cookie from DS's room, and one to get up all the dried chocolate milk spots from DD's room. Part of it was I didn't want to break out the Swiffer WetJet again--it just seemed a waste of a whole cleaning pad for their rooms. See, frugality strikes again. However, I admit that part of me was curious to see if the ubiquitous baby wipe could conquer yet another household cleaning chore. If you don't have baby wipes around, give them a try. I'm telling you, Mr. Clean and his Magic products have nothing on these!

The Easy Way vs. The Hard Way

We have been experiencing that classic dichotomy in our house of late, the Easy Way vs. the Hard Way. It's not always clear-cut which is the better path, because sometimes the Easy Way is good for you, and sometimes the Hard Way is good for you. A few recent examples:

• DH did not take the Easy Way and call someone to come out and service our lawnmower. Instead, he went and bought all the right gear to change the oil & blades himself, including a set of ramps, and went about assembling the ramps and then doing it all himself. The cost for all the supplies was probably equal to what we would have paid for a housecall to do the same service, except now we have paid-for ramps and in-house experience with doing it ourselves, thus saving us money in the future. It was the Hard Way this year, but in the future it will be the Easy and LBYM Way.
• DD has been going through another "Challenge Authority" phase, wherein every command and instruction given by myself and DH are met with obstinacy and either failure to comply or the bare minimum of compliance, with a healthy dose of Attitude thrown in. Obviously, the Easy Way for her would be to just do what we tell her to do, but she is consistently chosing the Hard Way and is being punished with time-outs, spankings, and loss of Points (which are earned daily and can be used to buy things once a week from our special Points Store, with goodies such as candy, window clings, Princess socks and the like). I can already see a prequel of the teen years in our house...oh boy.
• DS has been doing his fair share of choosing the Hard Way of late too. He is on antibiotics for his first ear infection, and has figured out a successful strategy for ejecting most of the antibiotic from his mouth when we administer it with the syringe. (As an aside, COME ON PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES, can you NOT find a more concentrated way to package a standard antibiotic for infants than to require parents to get SEVEN MILLILITERS into a screaming baby who is about to throw it all back up because they are gagging??? Really???) We called our pediatrician in desperation because honestly the kid was spitting out more than he was getting, and were then told, "Oh, well, just mix it in with a little food or ice cream or popsicle." *eye twitch* And you could not tell us this LAST WEEK when we got the prescription???
• Like two fools, DH & I have been choosing the Hard Way each evening, knowing we have two sick kids who will likely wake up multiple times, and still we are staying up to our normal time before trying to go to sleep. And we wonder why we are a titch cranky? Hmmm? Now who is choosing the Hard Way? I do not wonder where my children get this habit, no I do not...

Well, there is more proof, as if any were needed, that by being a parent I am reminded of how often I choose the Hard Way when it's not the best choice. To see my own children do the same thing is such an apt mirror of humanity. Oh, the humanity! Off my soapbox now, I need to go to bed early for a change. Night-night.

Spring Greening

Today is the day DH has been Dreading...the first lawn mowing day of the season! Yep, it's time to change the blade on our riding lawnmower, and get out there and cut the thatch that is currently masquerading as our lawn. In addition, there are noxious weeds attempting to grow in certain areas, including (but not limited to) thistles and stinging nettles, which are verboten on our property with the young'uns running about. Therefore, after lawn mowing is completed, DH is charged with Round-Up duty for the seedling nettles, and I am spading out the thistles. Good times!

On the plus side, we have the fun of cleaning out the flower beds, which is always a happy occasion. I always discover new shoots coming up when I clear away the dead leaves from the crocosmia and daylilies, and I am also likely to find more cheery spring bulbs about ready to flower, which I forget about during their dormant season. I spotted a happy pair of pink hyacinths ready to open up, and the white narcissus that pop up in a neglected corner of the garden are in full bloom. My tulips are up and the Russian tulips are blooming, with their fancy Dutch cousins to follow in a few weeks' time. The daffodils are starting to nod with their bright yellow heads, and my Sparaxis (at least I think that's what they are) are peeking up with their starburst purple blossoms. *sigh* It does my heart good to see all these lovely blooms in my garden.

I also bought four fruit trees (bare root) that must go in the ground today. I have bare root strawberry and blueberry plants to get in the dirt, too, in addition to transplanting all my existing strawberries to their new location. Once the strawberries are gone, we can finally give free rein to our neighbors with the plow and tiller, and we will have a large (for us) vegetable garden plot of about 30' x 30'. I have some stumps that termites and fungus have happily chewed up, so I will be putting the wood chips in the north end of the veggie garden, to make the soil a more fungally dominated one for the satisfaction of our corn. I will keep the rest bacterially dominated, which should keep everyone happy. See all the good little nuggets of information you can get from good regional gardening books, as well as a few nursery classes? And I am going to buy polyethylene sheeting to make "grow cones" to extend our growing season, hopefully keeping our veggies happy well into the fall. Maybe I actually will have a shot at growing some watermelons this year!

We will probably let the kiddos cavort around in the yard while we work, although DS will require a bit more supervision. He is still at the age where tasting everything seems like a good idea, and until we get rid of the thistles and nettles I have to make sure he's not wandering into any of them. Soothing nettle stings is not my idea of a fun parenting moment, and needless to say DS would not be too happy either! Fortunately I have already purchased yard toys, which will provide ample diversions for them. Also, DD will get to help plant more flower seeds, which is always a favorite task. The long flowerbed along the back walkway has been designated as "hers", so anything that goes in there she has to plant herself. We have plenty of sunflower seeds, saved from last year's crop, in addition to sweetpeas, purple coneflower, Shasta daisies, and a grab-bag of 'wildflower seeds'. That bed was gorgeous last summer, a happy confluence of rainbow hues and big and small flowers. Kids are perfect gardeners, because they use the same lackadaisical sowing pattern as the wind. Jumbles of flowers are always welcome in our yard, as are garden experiments with melons (soggy Pacific NW here, this is a long shot, let me tell you) and lilacs (not doing well, I am close to declaring them 'slacker plants' and yanking them). It's all a grand learning process for us all, but I love it. Greening up the garden = fun!

Different Types of Grandparents

My DH & I have come to the conclusion that grandparents come in two main varieties: the Engaging Type and the Observant Type. The Engaging Grandparents see their visit to the grandkids as an opportunity to interact with them extensively, and give the parents a break. They urge the parents to go away by themselves on dates, take on common chores for childcare such as diaper changing and naptime story reading, and in general want to be interacting with their grandkids as much as possible during their visit. They come prepared to put aside their own preferences and routines in favor of child face-time, and will get down on the floor every day and play with the grandkids.

Then there are the Observant Grandparents. They come for a visit with the purpose of 'seeing' the grandkids, and watching them play. They will get down and play with the grandkids, but only for brief periods of time (30 minutes or so) and then are content to go back to reading their books or watching their TV programmes. They are keen to keep on with their usual routines as much as possible, even if it means missing out on visiting time with the grandkids.

I think all grandparents eventually end up in the Observant category, due to aging and physical limitations. However, when your own kids are young, you sort of hope for the Engaging grandparents on both sides of the family, because it means that your kids at least get the benefit of fun and games and interactive play when the grandparents come to visit. Additionally, as parents you get the benefit of having some dates and time off from Constant Vigilance. Of course, this also brings some downsides. The Engaging Grandparents are more likely to engage in activities with your children that you disapprove of, like letting them do some high risk activity on the playset or eat ice cream for breakfast, etc. So while you get to enjoy the benefits, you also have to put up with the meltdowns and tantrums when the kids have to come back down to earth when Grandma and Grandpa go home. This leads to about a week lag time in our house, up to two weeks if it was a long visit, where the kiddos are mostly unhappy as DH & I reassert our household rules and behavior expectations that went out the window with the Grandparents.

On the other hand, the Observant Grandparents can be a lot of work in and of themselves, due to their need for personal routines and things "just so". It's a lot more work trying to argue with the Observant Grandparent, so it's easier to just go with their flow and deal with the consequences later. In our house, this means that we have to clean up a bunch after they leave (clutterbugs), put up with inane and seemingly random comments on society and politics at odd times in conversation, and throw away a bunch of crappy food. *shrug* So be it. And the grandkids don't get as much pleasure out of a visit from the Observant Grandparents, because there just isn't as much tomfoolery and fun and games as there is with the Engaging Grandparents. So, you can't help but feel as though your kids are somehow missing out, or that your parents aren't putting out enough of an effort to enjoy your kids as much as you do...which is of course totally unfair, because they are 32 years older than you and frankly don't have the stamina to put up with a lot of horseplay!

As you can tell, we've had a visit from Grandparents recently, specifically, my parents. I won't say which type they are (perhaps it's better to say there is a spectrum between those two identities) but I do know that I have a lot of work to do putting our house to rights, and that my kids (especially DD) will cry at the airport tomorrow and will miss them after they have gone home. I thought I was going to get a lot more done around the house and homestead, things that I find difficult to do with the kiddos in tow, but suffice it to say that did not happen. Oh well. At the very least, we booked our trip to go see DH's parents and family in Ireland, so that is something to look forward to this summer. And at least I know that for THAT visit, I won't have to worry about a tidy house!