Memo to Clueless Bosses

I don't know exactly when it started--maybe the mid-80's? But somewhere along the line bosses got the brilliant idea that "team building" required the assembly of all workers and participation in various "team building" excursions, which are designed to foster a better camaraderie among co-workers. My DH is off on one of those fun 'excursions' this afternoon and evening--a tourist tour of their city followed by dinner 'on the company'.

Sounds innocuous enough, doesn't it? However, DH leaves for work before DD wakes up, and thus the only time he has to spend with her each day is in the evening. There is a reason he is the designated bather and evening put-to-bed person--that's quality time with a capital QT, and he needs every minute he can get during the week. So when his boss comes up with the brilliant idea to keep him away from her for the whole day, where she won't actually get to see her daddy until far into the afternoon of the next day, I am not best pleased.

It's not that I mind having the kids to myself--I have them all day, a few more hours isn't that big of a deal. Besides, I've got Mr. Starbucks venti iced coffee keeping me company here, TYVM, and if they are complete and utter terrors I am prepared to say hello to Mr. Cocktail later this evening!

I've been on these "team building" jaunts on my last job. Yeah, great fun--I trekked up to the mountains with my DH & DD, because it was "family friendly". We were supposed to spend only a few hours on work, with each person giving presentations of five minutes in length with only 5 minutes of questions.

Uh-huh. THREE HOURS LATER, we still had about ten people to go, and the kids were starving for lunch, which was in OUR BUILDING. The assorted spouses were steaming that what had been billed as 'family time in the mountains' had turned into a long, boring day away from home supervising kids who were all out of whack being away from the comforts of home. Finally my boss clued in and people ate, but as soon as we ate we headed back home, a two hour drive ahead, because my DD hadn't napped well and if we weren't home by her early bedtime there would be hell to pay. I even missed the 'group photo', but I was so livid as we headed home I swore never to attend another "voluntary" get-together such as that again.

Now my DH is probably finishing up their tourist tour, and they are heading to a chain restaurant better known for entertaining small kids & families than business power lunches or dinners. Great. So not only is he having to spend MORE time with his co-workers, but he's doing it at a restaurant that reminds him & me of all the times we've eaten there as a family and the fact that he won't see his daughter awake at all for more than 36 hours. Thanks, thanks a lot, boss!

Here's a hint for all the bosses out there: if you want to build a better team, do it by teaching the appropriate skillsets to the people on your team. Send them to the classes and training they need to do their jobs better and be more time-efficient and productive. Treat them to a nice lunch in the office. Ensure that good work is rewarded and poor work is punished. Don't subject them to these crappy "team building" excursions. All you do is earn the enmity of the families and tick off your employees. Period.