That Murphy

With our upcoming trip to Ireland (three weeks and counting!), you'd think that it would be the sole preoccupation of my time. You would be wrong. I would like to have it be the sole preoccupation of my time, such that I could leisurely make lists of what to pack, what to bring for the kids clothing-wise (what kind of weather to pack for? How much clothing is really necessary when we have a washing machine available at all times?), what we want to bring back with us (requests from friends, our own personal tea stash, assorted goodies, etc). But no, instead I am dealing with the House What Wants to Fall Apart and the Yard That is Weed Possessed Requiring Serious Intervention.

More house falling apart, you ask? Yes, yes indeed. Because after I fixed our shower, new pipe stems and all, DH discovered a "little leak" under the kitchen sink. A "little leak" from the new connection to the dishwasher, which had resulted in a slight drip and a sagging and smelly cabinet floor with mildew spreading across it! EWWWW!! We removed everything from the cabinet, got a fan going to air it out, and that succeeded merely in making our entire house smell like Mildew. We are on Day Five of the Mildew Smell, and I am thinking that if I can ever host a playdate again I will have to welcome our guests with, "Hello, please ignore the odor, this is the House of Mildew...no allergies in your family?"

DH has fixed the "little leak" with some teflon tape...I will spare you the ungenerous thoughts that rabbitted through my head on about Day Three of The Smell™, but suffice it to say after days of living in the house with the neverending funk, I am a wee bit testy about suggestions to make it smell better (no, Febreze does not work, and no, opening all the windows when it's FIFTY-SIX DEGREES OUT IN JUNE FOR PETE'S SAKE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS STATE'S CLIMATE?? COLDER THAN SIBERIA, A NEW RECORD IN SEATTLE FOLKS...erg...*wipes foam from mouth* sorry about that...).

So yesterday, I took matters into my own hands after DH had casually suggested, after observing the SAGGING BIT in the back of the cabinet, that perhaps we needed to remove the bottom and replace it. One of our friendly neighbors stopped by for a cup of tea and ended up going home for her crowbar, and together we whacked out the entire bottom while my kids were napping (good sleepers, those kids). And we discovered a wet subfloor, and mildewy drywall and insulation around the copper pipes. Oh. Goody. Because I NEEDED another fix-it project, you know? Just to cap it all off, right before vacation. Thank you.

I pulled in our portable air conditioning unit, not because we NEEDED A/C, but because it has a dehumidifying feature and I wanted to dry out that subfloor, pronto! Voila, 24 hours later and we are looking good. My house still reeks of mildew, and I hustled down to Lowes this afternoon for a quart of odor-killing primer. It's waiting for me in the kitchen now, where I will prime it with a craft brush, because I'm too lazy to go find my painting frame and a clean roller when I can whip it out in twenty minutes with a foam craft brush that I can readily access. Technically I am supposed to use something to kill mildew on it, yada yada yada...but I sprayed it with diluted bleach yesterday, so I'm calling it good. I just want the smell GONE, YESTERDAY. We have plywood, we have a new $12 jigsaw (nothing but the best on our budget, I'm telling you), and I am going to cut out that new cabinet floor tomorrow and drill or nail that puppy in. For good measure, I think I will caulk all around the inside too. Because, you know, I'm DONE with the whole putrefying house smell. I cannot begin to imagine how the folks dealt with it post-Katrina.

And I haven't even discussed today's visit to the pediatrician, where DS was diagnosed with eczema (I see a diet journal looming in my future, along with copious quantities of Aquaphor and Cetaphil), and DD had a large splinter removed from the bottom of her foot. And I didn't mention the ticket I got while driving DH's car for expired tags! I'm thinking we need to plan out meals for the next three weeks, and no one leaves the house until we are headed for the airport. Provided, of course, that I can get our house to stop smelling like a bad episode of "Dirty Jobs".