The Default Option

I've noticed some things lately in trying to clean up our messy, disorganized house (both financial and literal). Chiefly, I have noticed that our default option in our family is to put off dealing with "it" 'til later. Of course, "Later" is purely an abstract concept, some hazy definition of a time in the future (possibly distant future) at which we will muster up the gumption to deal with "it" in the appropriate fashion. "It" can be anything ranging from putting away purchases from Target or Walmart, to organizing our check register and balancing our budget, or actually enacting a budget in such a way that we are dragged kicking and screaming with bloody knuckles forced to live by the actual set budget (and by this I mean a really ugly, pure cash only system where debit cards are housed other than in our wallets).

You know, "Later" has a nasty habit of never coming around in our family, and I'll bet it's the same in yours too. What made me realize this is the shocking realization that our eldest child is mimicking our habits perfectly. Yes, it tickles the cockles of my heart when she imitates one of our good habits, but it never occurred to me until this week that she is perfectly imitating our bad habits as well. I tell her to pick up something or do something while she is playing her Didj, and I have to tell her five times before she does it. Yet when I tell my husband to do something, does he do it right away, or does he sit at his computer for another five, ten, twenty minutes before he does it? And when my husband tells me that dinner is ready, do I stop putzing on the computer or doing whatever little chore right then and come to the table, or do I continue putzing or doing for five, ten, or even fifteen minutes? I think you can probably guess which one happens. And it is so irritating for that to happen when it's my daughter doing it to me, but somehow the pieces didn't click that this is exactly what my husband and I do to each other all the time...and she's imitating us!

My daughter's room has become a point of contention for us lately too. Her floor has literally been so covered with toys, clothes, shoes, and STUFF that it is a fire hazard. We have told her, how would the firefighters get to you if you had a fire? And she's five--this means nothing, really. And I have been forcing her to pick up her stuff, so we don't nearly fall and break our necks on everything jumbled all over. And yet, I go into my laundry room, and what do I do? Nearly break my neck every day negotiating around the plastic storage bin full of crap I haven't looked at in years (literally), past the box of sofa cushion stuffing that I was going to "get around to replacing someday", balancing a full laundry basket. And I wonder where she gets the idea that it's okay to live like this!!

I wonder about what kind of messages we are sending to our kids. My son's dresser has two broken drawers, that have been sitting on his floor for a month or more (they broke at different times). What message are we sending to him by leaving his dresser drawers on the floor? That it's not important to fix things. And here we are, a year and a half later, with a bathroom that is still not completed (still need to put up the mirror, rewire the light above the shelves, finish installing the trim, and paint the doors & trim), a shed that is still not fully fixed nor painted! We might not consciously think about it, but we are letting ourselves say, "Later...later...later" and letting things deteriorate in our home and in our lives.

Because life is in the details. Those things niggle at us every time we see them. We might not think about them, but they bother us. They certainly bother me. And while we have small children, and we don't have much time in each day, we have enough time to putz around on the internet for several hours. We have enough time at the weekends to spend more money than we should at Walmart, and Target, and Costco. We have enough time to "relax" as a family every weekend. And I'm not saying that's not important. But it is EQUALLY important to have your house in order, both financially and literally. It is EQUALLY important to show your kids that sometimes even when you want to just sit down and relax, you have to keep moving and get some important tasks done. So we need to be more conscious of that urge to say, "Later." We need to step up and say, "Now." We need to take care of business more often, before the business takes care of us. I don't want to see my family, my house, my life deteriorate. I want to see improvement. And that means more "Nows", and letting the "Laters" take care of themselves.