The Whirlwind

I'm beginning to hate Thursdays.

Not only is it a school day for DD, but it is also the day before I teach, the day of my women's Bible study, and the day after my systematic theology study. As such, I have to feed my children earlier than usual, which compresses my morning, then drive DD to school, then attempt to get some productive grading, teaching prep, or Bible study homework done in about a scant amount of time while DS naps, trek to pick up DD (usually with a cranky DS, whose nap has been interrupted), attempt to persuade DD to take a nap (successful about 50% of the time), and then make some semblance of a meal for the whole family to eat the second DH walks in the door so that I can leave on time for Bible study.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? And throw into the mix any of a number of monkey wrenches, and you have a day that is depressingly like Mondays for most people, only worse, because you still have another day to get through until the longed-for weekend. At least with Monday you are just coming off a weekend, and know the next one is a while away.

As you can probably tell, today has been a day of chaos, mayhem, and general disorderly conduct in this house. I have more lab reports to grade, I have not completed all of my Bible study homework, I have zero prep done for teaching tomorrow, and I have dealt with two cranky children who have refused at various points of the day to take their designated naps. And, my house is a disaster zone. My kitchen is overflowing with recyclables that I am shortly going to burn (not kidding) because my waste management company has not provided me with sufficient bins to recycle it all, and only collects recycling every other week. I am tired of my son getting into the recyclables, even if I have washed them out. My son attempting to gnaw on a washed out milk jug just gives me the heebie-jeebies, and don't even get me started on how many bottles or aluminum cans he's tried to make his playtoy. This makes me cranky.

It also makes me cranky when my daughter sleeps for all of ten minutes in the car on the way home from school, then refuses to go back to sleep and instead transforms her room into the aftermath of Hurricane Rita, with toys all over. And I haven't mentioned the blow out diapers. Or shrieking bird. Or the dirty dishes waiting to be put away, because my son can't stay away from the dishwasher for TEN MINUTES so that I can get it emptied and then refilled. Talk about the creeps--my son trying to chomp down on a dirty utensil or dish, or better still, attempting to lick the Jet Dry dispenser!

So I am fleeing my home, people. My DH is home and I am abandoning the fort in search of a quiet fast-ish food place to eat my dinner alone and attempt to finish my homework before attending my Bible study. Hopefully some of the above will be sorted by the time I return home. Ugh. What a day.

Jane Austen Fest!

So, as some of you may know, I am a huge Jane Austen fan. To the extent that, when I read about the Jane Austen Society of North America last year (JASNA, for those in the know), I was all ready to plunk down my $30 and throw myself into the Regency world of Austen, dissecting her novels and attending social events designed to mimic those Jane herself would have enjoyed. Yep, I was READY! Then DH threw water on my parade gently reminded me that I hardly have time to do the stuff I have to do, you know, like parenting, housecleaning, bill paying, and such. And I pouted for a day or so but reluctantly admitted that perhaps now is not quite the best time to become ensconced in deep discussions of Austen's texts or contemplating how best to make my own c.1803 tea dress and obtain proper gloves.

I absolutely adore Austen's books. She had such an unerring eye for human social interaction. I wager she was the spinster neighbor whose knowing eyes missed little, for all that she was likely a wallflower after her own failed romance. Her text overflows with nuance and subtleties that encapsulate the mannerisms of her day and the intricate social dance between the classes of Regency England. For all that America pretends to be a class-less society (let us explore that irony on another day when I rant about the crap masquerading as entertainment, etc), there are very fixed social classes that have definite rules of behavior and social engagement. (As an aside, see the excellent book, "Class Matters" for a deeper discussion on this subject.)

For all that she skewers the peculiarities of social rigidity at times, she was also keenly aware of its protections to the more vulnerable members of that society, and the social expectations of charity and neighborliness are featured in all of her books. And, of course, she documented all too well the courtship enchantments and stumbles of her contemporaries and herself. For all that she herself was denied happiness in a successfully concluded courtship, she clearly held love and marriage in the utmost esteem. Her heroines for all their foibles are all plucky enough to insist upon a mutual respect and love that was often forsaken by those young women who sought only to establish themselves (for whatever the reason...I am not begrudging the security sought by so many, and neither did Austen, as I believe is clear from her treatment of such women in her books).

I am indebted to DH's patience, as he has watched the BBC's "Pride and Prejudice" 1995 miniseries with me so often that he has virtually the entire script memorized...a remarkable feat for a man who admittedly remembers next to nothing of a film he may have seen only one hour prior. Rather, perhaps it is a testament to my love of this treatment of Jane's perennial classic of the same name. I could not wish for a better or more perfect screen adaptation than that miniseries--the pinnacle of achievement for Austen fans.

And now I inform you, my motley assortment of readers, of an ongoing Austen fest on PBS. Masterpiece Theater is showing 16 straight weeks of Austen films and miniseries, and an original biography of Jane Austen. We are two weeks in, and I'm telling you...the films are GORGEOUS. The series started with "Persuasion", a new version with Sally Hawkins and Rupert Penry-Jones...and it surpasses the Ciaran Hinds/Amanda Root movie, in my humble opinion. It was just perfect. I am halfway through "Northanger Abbey" and am thoroughly enjoying that as well. So if you are at all interested in Jane Austen, either passively or (like me) have visions of someday becoming a member of JASNA and attending a Regency ball at their general meeting, well, um, check it out. Because four months of Jane is not to be missed! Even if you're a guy. Really.

Seasonal Contractions

(Note from previous post: For those unaware of the term, LBYM stands for "live below your means".)

I have noticed a funny pattern to social interactions and have wondered if this is common everywhere, or just in areas where there are poor times of year (i.e., too hot or too cold to be outside much). I don't know anyone living in San Diego right now, but I wonder if they see the same phenomenon. It seems that we don't see too much of our neighbors or friends during the wintertime. It's just cold, it's rainy, sometimes we have snow, and it just feels like too much hassle to go out for a long walk in the cold (when we might see our neighbors) or to get the kids togged out and go for a playdate or lunch or dinner with friends. So, we just don't see many folks from about November through the end of January.

Of course that time of year also coincides with the holidays, and people just get plain busy with their own lives and families at that time of year. But there is a strong weather correlation as well. Here it seems like folks just want to cozy up in their own burrows and hibernate for the winter, and when it gets nicer outside everyone re-emerges and is ready to socialize again. If it gets rainy and muddy, people stay inside and have a hot cup of tea. The only exception to this seems to be spring showers, when it's finally greening up and new flowers are emerging--then folks don't seem to mind the rain and even rejoice a bit in the muck. Certainly my DD rejoices in it!

I just find it amusing...not that we are any different! I don't have much interest in bundling up and taking the kids out for walks in 30F weather. I know DS would be miserable, DD would complain about being too hot, then too cold, and she wouldn't want to walk back home. Far easier to entertain them inside and invite some friends over if the kids are desperate for a little company. I suppose that's why I look forward to springtime as much as anyone--I can get out and clean up the garden, putter around with flower seeds, and let DD run around to her heart's content. Even with all our modern conveniences, it's amazing how influenced we still are by the natural world.

Ye Olde Financial Picture & LBYM Resolutions

"Ye Olde" because it's getting pretty old--hell, it's GOTTEN pretty old, and á la Dave Ramsey, we're sick and tired of being sick and tired! So we are getting serious about the whole family financial picture, and I do mean serious. Apart from the Grocery Game, DH has gotten me a coupon organizer (because the GG is great, but I need something for the checkout and internet coupons) and we now have the Envelope System to work with in our house. Every cent is allocated ahead of time, and it's Cash Only for Groceries and Household Items and Entertainment.

I've gotten some comments from folks that have known us a while, and they are surprised that we have a whole Debt Snowball thing going on. We got a great cost-of-living raise for DH when we moved here, but we also said a not-so-fond adieu to my $40,000+ annual income, which DH's cost of living raise didn't quite cover. So, we really are living on less now than we were then: albeit a small margin less, but it's still less. And, unfortunately, just because I decided to take a career hiatus for a while doesn't mean the U.S. Gubment is willing to take a hiatus on my student loan payments from graduate school. All things considered, the cash flow situation in our house can be characterized as not so good, and apart from paying off Ye Olde (and Newe) Debts, we need to improve the cash flow situation around here.

Thus, we have the following goals for 2008:

1. Pay off our car. We bought our van, the faithful Chariot, in 2004 (before kids, believe it or not--intended as a harp toting vehicle!) and put zero money down. Yes, we know now how foolish that was. However, we are rectifying it by attempting to pay it off earlier than the original payoff date of May 2009. Already DH's Christmas bonus whacked six months' of payments off the principal, and any extra tax refund will be thrown at the principal as well. I've never been so keen to do our taxes!
2. Pay for our family visit to DH's family in Ireland in cash. It's been over 2 years since we've been over, and that's a long time for DH to not see any family members other than his parents. Don't get me started on the reciprocity thingy about his sisters et al. Suffice it to say, we need to go visit this summer, and we want to pay for it all in cash. We have set a set amount from the tax refund to cover this, but anything above that # has to be saved out of the ordinary budget...which, given the cash flow situation mentioned above, will be quite the challenge. And, I need not add that finding 4 fares roundtrip to Ireland for $500 or less per ticket will be its own special travel challenge de anne.
3. Do a better job of tracking those irregular but regular expenses. Somehow I always forget that our AAA memberships have to be renewed, or that my ACS membership needs to be renewed, and oh yeah the earthquake insurance is due sometime in midsummer, etc. It's kind of hard to sustain those shocks to the budget when cash flow is tight, so until it improves I'd better get a better system going for saving for and predicting those expenses.
4. Say no more often to those little treats (Starbucks, anyone?) and dining out moments when we are being a little bit lazy and a little bit laissez faire about Ye Olde Financial Picture. Frankly, we just can't afford the level at which our Dining spending sits currently in Quicken, so we need to say no to ourselves and each other more often.
5. Actually plan and budget for regular dates. Yes, babysitting is expensive...but not if we take advantage of the perfectly serious offers for free babysitting from friends and neighbors. DH & I have enjoyed a few occurrences recently of kid-free dinners (early bedtimes), and you know, I kind of like spending time alone with the wonderful guy I married! So I think I'd like to make that happen on a more regular basis, KWIM?

Well, there you have it--our modest financial goals for 2008. I'd love to say we're going to pay off the HELOC! or pay off the remaining credit card! but I know the numbers and well, even with my new gig teaching at the local community college, that ain't going to happen this year. Hopefully we will bring the full force of the snowball to bear on the above, but it probably won't be until later in the year, and it won't be paid off this year. But you know, if I can find a way to make those things happen sooner, I will. We will see exactly how much I can work this LBYM thing while still, you know, mothering my children and being a good wife and keeping the house from falling down or becoming a cesspool. Wish me luck!

And, if you're interested in reading about the exploits of others undertaking a new budget challenge this year, check out Tamarian's blog, http://denofchaos.blogspot.com/ I've got it linked on my favorite blogs, and she's doing her own LBYM challenge with a motley assortment of fellow bloggers. Check in often for encouragement with your own budget challenges. Good luck to you!

Making the Effort

So, here I sit, a year and a bit after I became a full-time SAHM, and I am about to enter the workforce again. Yet again the dynamics are changing--DD has started preschool, I am going to be teaching 3 hours per week, and I wonder what will happen to the new groove I have finally established with respect to housework.

It has taken me a year, peeps, to understand where my strengths and weaknesses lie in the housework arena, and it has also taken me that long to fully engage and commit to doing it as part of my JOB as opposed to that thing that gets done eventually and who really cares about it anyway? Well, I have discovered that I do care when neighbors stop by and my house is an atrocious mess worthy of the title, "Just Recovering from Hurricane Rita". I know I have two little kids, but if I haven't vacuumed in a week and the leftover dinner dishes are still on the table and the kitchen counters are cluttered with dirty dishes when someone stops over for a cup of tea, well, that doesn't reflect too well on my ability to juggle things, does it?

I have to keep up with the house all the time. There are no "break days" when it comes to keeping the house clean. In fact, right now, I have 4 clutter points that require cleaning. And a couple of pieces of furniture that require emptying and removal to the cottage (a task that requires DH, so will be accomplished this weekend). And I have 3 more loads of laundry to fold (this after a mammoth effort yesterday wherein 8 loads were washed, folded, and put away). And I really need to systematically organize our dining room storage areas. And so it goes. There is never an end. Dishes always need to be done. Floors require twice weekly vacuuming, at a minimum. Mopping really ought to be done every week, but at this stage I'm doing good to get it done every two weeks or so. And the clutter is an endless battle.

DD is just getting to an age where she can help pick up her own room and tidy away her own toys. At her preschool they each get different jobs to do, so my plan is after she is used to this little chore at school, it will be introduced at home. A chore chart with stickers and prizes is in the works. I really need her to start picking up her own room, because frankly I hardly ever have the time to do it and I think she's old enough to grasp the concepts of "if you don't put it away you can't find it to play with it later" and "you lose toys that you don't put away". This should dovetail nicely with removing some toys to be reintroduced as DS's toys later, so I have high hopes for success...eventually.

I don't know how the weekly burden of quiz writing, lab report grading, and teaching prep will impact all of the above. I suspect that DD's schooltime will become my prep time, but it remains to be seen if DS will cooperate with his naps. As usual, just when I get into a groove, things go topsy-turvy again. I believe it's called life.