The Hot Spot

It's certainly different with three children. My lap is the hot spot, with each child competing for their share of my lapfront property. Of course the newborn has top dibs, but my son and daughter are equally quick to snatch their opportunities as well. I have never felt so popular. Fortunately my scar is pretty much healed over now, and the bruises are mostly gone. This helps enormously when my son, who is quite a bruiser (a solid, stocky build--this kid will always be BIG), clambers up on my lap like he's conquering a steel playgym frame. Whereas previously such activity would cause me grimace and squirm away from his digging toes, now I am slightly more prepared.

I am having a harder time refraining from picking up my two eldest children when they need something. Yesterday I picked up our 45 lb daughter because she fell and hurt herself on the backyard playground. I've picked up our 42 lb son (and he's 2 years younger than our oldest daughter...I told you, this kid is big) several times to help him into his carseat and into a stroller or shopping cart. All of which is supposed to be verboten still, as we are only at the 2.5 week mark since my c-section. I admit to having a bit of trepidation about things settling back into their proper places internally. It seems to be taking longer for certain postpartum symptoms to subside than it did last time, but then again it's not as if I took notes! It does not help to have folks chastising me about such things as well. Please, you explain to our two year old why Mommy, the closest adult, cannot help him into his carseat and such.

I remember that our eldest daughter (I am still having to get used to this, the whole "eldest" bit is easy to forget) had the same reaction to her new baby brother. She used to get upset when I couldn't help her do something, and she definitely displayed the same type of jealousy that we are seeing with our son. I have yet to hear "When does he go back to the hospital?" that we heard from DD, but he's been quite vociferous in telling me to "Put Baby Jane down!" and demanding his share of my lap. He doesn't quite understand that when she's eating, well, she's eating and there really aren't any options for putting her down at that particular point in time.

On the other hand, he is quite an attentive brother and will give her toys that make music or alert us when she fusses. Our eldest has been quite the little mama, too, and is quite keen to hold her baby sister and give her toys and blankets, etc. Neither one of them is shy about asking where she is when they can't see her, and it seems to be unacceptable to not show her various things, such as pictures they draw or favorite toys.

My in-laws are in residence now and they are mucking in outside, in the absolute mess that is my garden. They've already weeded one bed and started on the next, and have purchased two roses for me, plus a sedum. I think by the time they leave my gardens will be drenched in water, compost, and happy attention. Good thing, too, as I haven't had much of any of that to spare, except for the guilt-induced watering I have done to keep things minimally alive. My master gardener neighbor dropped off some columbine and ferns for me yesterday, so more work awaits. I will be asking my OB about doing some light gardening at my appointment Wednesday, but until then I am benched. Some things never change, though, and thus I probably need to go and fold the mountain of clothes on my bed before my newest child decides she is unhappy in her swing. But it's a nice cool day, all of my children are happy at this moment, and my husband is back to work and wading through a mass of emails. Life is good. Thank you God!

C-Section Recovery

There are a few things about birth and the whole messy aspects of it that are really things that one cannot fully appreciate until one experiences them. Therefore in the interest of avoiding the gross-out, ick factor, I am putting in a disclaimer that this might contain more information than you want to know about c-sections and how they are done, etc. Suffice it to say that I do not feel too much sympathy for you, dear reader, unless you too have been fortuitous enough to have this information imparted to you personally as your insides are open and being worked on by surgeons discussing their plans for the weekend. In any case, you have been adequately forewarned.

I confess I had forgotten some things about the whole c-section process and recovery from the last time I went down this particular primrose pathway. Because it was somewhat traumatic last time, despite being a planned c-section for my son, I think my brain had dumped some crucial information and put a decidedly dark haze on the rest. So while I felt somewhat calm ahead of this one, and knew what to expect, there were decidedly aspects of the surgery and aftermath that I had completely expunged from my memory banks. In the interest of educating anyone who might be faced with this in the future, and reminding myself should we get surprised with a #4, here are a few tidbits about this surgery.

• The anesthesia is really not so bad. Last time I had an epidural, and this time I got a spinal block. I looooooove the spinal block. Oh, sooooooo much better than the epidural. First, you get to walk into the OR yourself, which is somehow more dignified than being wheeled in with your lower half numb and being manhandled onto the operating table. Second, you get the same local anesthesia shots in your back (the worst part, really), but the needle used for a spinal block is SO much smaller than the epidural needle, and I could not feel anything, no pressure at all. My toes started to get warm and tingly and I was able to put them on the table myself. Lastly, it wore off much faster than the epidural. I was already starting to wiggle my toes on my left foot while I was waiting for my bed and transfer back to the recovery room. I do not like the sensation of wanting to move my legs and not being able to, so having the anesthesia wear off faster was a big plus in my book.
• The lower back pain during the surgery, that is not so good. I told my anesthesiologist about this and (you were warned!) he told me it was because they had my uterus outside my body and were tugging on it, and it would feel better once they put it back in. Yeah. May I just say that I did NOT need the visual to accompany the lower back pain? Bad enough that they have an organ outside my body, I did not need to know that my body was telling me "this is bad" despite the heavy anesthesia.
• Despite thirst and hunger immediately resuming post-surgery, I was reminded in the most vivid manner possible of the "nausea" that my DH and mom remembered from my last c-section but which I had blissfully eliminated from my memory banks. I was feeling good and motoring along past the ice chips and water, TYVM, and had dived into the popsicles and Jello I was being allowed to eat. A few bites of Jello did not seem to sit well, so I laid off the Jello and had a second popsicle a few hours later. Suffice it to say it did not take long for it to come back to say hello, along with everything else that I had consumed post-surgery. So I spent a long night with only ice chips and water for sustenance...which brings me to:
• Don't believe them when they say you will only be without food for 8 hours. Ha! More like 24 hours! It's a very good thing I had a big breakfast right before my 8 hour "nothing by mouth" period began, because I was not allowed to eat anything substantial until breakfast the following morning--and then I had to push for it. I had a big bowl of real oatmeal (whole oats, cooked slowly) with cream and brown sugar and fresh blueberries, strawberries, and apples, and it did carry me over quite nicely to surgery, as well as being kind to my system. I had blueberry pancakes afterward and they were quite nice too. Of course hunger is the best seasoning there is! Mercifully no repeat of any other nausea, but those first few hours post-surgery are a real kicker.
• The incisions are not the source of post-surgical pain, for the most part. No, this is the provenance of the massive bruises on your tissues inflicted by the retractors and tugging, etc. Aside from the typical stretching/pulling from the incision, I haven't had anything to complain about on that front. My pressure dressing came off quite readily in the hospital when I had my first post-surgery shower (oh, the bliss!) and my DH pointed out that I had several large "purple grape colored bruises" around it, and that was probably the source of pain for me. Now I have been informed that they have faded to a "luminous green", 9 days post-surgery (I can't really see them that well myself, just the top of two of them). Nothing like having a real rainbow tummy to show for a birth.
• Painkillers are a blessing and a curse. I was again prescribed Percocet for my pain, plus horse-size ibuprofen pills. The Percocet were much appreciated for the first three days, but after that I hated the decidedly loopy spin that they put on everything for me, and I resisted taking them as much as possible. (And there are people out there that LIKE that feeling and abuse these drugs?? This I do not understand...) Now I am about three days out from taking any Percocet, and have also resisted the ibuprofen, relying instead on one dose of Tylenol at bedtime.
• Sleep is the best healer of all. I have had some really long nights of sleep for the past two nights, and have felt much better in the morning than I did the previous week. Of course sleep in the hospital is always a cut-up business, between the nurses coming in to check me and then to check the baby. But even at home, I was not able to really doze off whenever, because I had my parents asking things, or doing things that required some form of input, or our children were all over me because I was HOME and they wanted my attention too (really Mom it's not just about that new little baby, there's ME too and I need you NOW Mommyyyyyyy...). However, my parents went to visit my brother and his family for a few days, and our friends were giving us our space and resisting visits, so I've had a chance to just be and do absolutely nothing other than sleep in until 9 am and go to bed (and sleep!) at 8 pm, and it's been WONDERFUL.
• Every time something else was removed from my body post-surgery or I was given the all-clear to do something, it felt like I was reclaiming a piece of myself. I was moving away from "SciencePhDMom, hospital patient" to just "SciencePhDMom". Getting up and walking around, getting the catheter removed, being allowed to drink and eat, having my first shower and getting rid of that dressing and smelling like ME instead of calcium gluconate pre-surgery wipes...all of these things helped me feel more like ME. And it was good to finally bid the IV goodbye. I will be so happy when that little circular scab finally falls off my wrist.

I must reiterate that if anyone has a choice, there is really no contest and a vaginal birth is the absolute best way for a baby to be born. However, I am very grateful that we have c-sections for medically needed interventions, and obstetricians and hospitals well-trained in how to do them well and as safely as possible for mom & baby. I do not understand opting for a c-section if there is no medical reason to do so, as my sister-in-law did for both of her sons. I really honestly do not understand it. I am not putting her down or anyone else down who has opted for this, but I just cannot wrap my head around such a thing. Having experienced both, the recovery from a vaginal birth is so much easier (and that even with an episiotomy). I could be driving now. I would not have these bruises and pains and long list of verboten actions, such as even lifting up my two year old son (who frankly still does not understand why this is so). And I have to go with the vaginal birth as the way God intended it to be, KWIM? Women's bodies are designed to birth their babies, period.

Anyhow, that is the subject for another post, exploring the vast antagonism and gulf that exists in the good ol' USA today between the natural birth movement (ever heard of "The Business of Being Born"?) and obstetrical care & culture. Having been torn between the two camps and placed in a decidely uncomfortable position between>>>ROCK<<<>>>>HARD PLACE<<<<, I have a few thoughts on that subject. That will have to wait until I am feeling more myself, however. And in case you haven't seen her, here is a link to a few shots of my newest family member:

http://www.dropshots.com/stbridgit#date/2009-07-24/05:48:22

My sweet baby Jane. She is worth it all. :)