I am doing my best now that the quarter has ended to get the house & yard organized prior to baby arrival. However, I am being stymied at every turn by our two eldest children, who insist on making as big a mess as possible whenever my or DH's backs are turned. My son has an ongoing fascination with water, and if he's not spilling all the water out of the dog's bowl, he is spreading soap over my coffee table, over the bathroom counter, and spilling water everywhere. The only time I feel somewhat okay letting the boy have water in his possession is when we are outside, and even then it is a risky proposition. Heaven forfend he gets a hose in his hands, because he will spray anyone and everything as fast as he can.
My daughter is continuing to exhibit her unacceptable attitude on occasion. She has shown some improvement since daycare has ended, but she's still driving us crazy at least once a day. It's like her brain is simply incapable of processing the fact that SHE has a much happier day when she loses the attitude and demonstrates her ability to DO what she is told to do. My husband has forbidden the phrase, "I'll listen! I'll listen!" as this is what she says repeatedly when she gets into trouble. Again, the whole concept of it's not just listening, it's DOING is apparently beyond her intellect at the age of 4.
My house is still looking like a bomb went off in it. I have empty boxes scattered hither & yon, waiting to be removed for recycling. I still don't have all the linens back in my linen closet, so I am stepping over space bags still in the laundry room and our bedroom. I have pre-pregnancy clothes under my bed with no home to go to. I think a neighbor hit the nail on the head--I just do not have enough storage in this house, and it's driving me nuts!
DH is doing his best to finish the bathroom remodel. All but 2 rows of tile are laid for the tub surround, and then we have to grout it and seal the grout on the floor and in the tub surround. We still have to finish painting the tub room, and then install all the trim and the linen closet door. I hope we aren't going to be doing this when our parents get here, I really don't.
Nonetheless, I don't think this baby is going to wait. The head is very low, and my OB thinks there is no way we are making it to the due date. This is good news for me, because I really, really want to avoid a repeat c-section. I sincerely hope this kiddo is ready to make her appearance (assuming the u/s tech was right and it is a she), because I am just about done with being pregnant. Only a few short weeks left, technically, but she is more than welcome to come early. At least then I'll have a good excuse for my messy house. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Not Nesting
To borrow a theme from a friend's blog, I am going to list all the things that I'm not doing today... *wink, wink, nudge nudge*
- I am not nesting. I have not determined a new configuration of the living room furniture which necessitates my husband moving every single piece of furniture to a new location (including the outrageously heavy piano). Nope, not me!
- I did not buy a piece of chocolate candy at Fred Meyer which I promptly ate while drinking a (gasp!) caffeinated soda when I got home.
- I did not lose my flash drive with all my lecture notes & grades on it (although I have back-ups in two different locations).
- I am not making my friend Hanna's killer salsa because I saw all the ingredients laid out in the same place in the grocery store, as if it was a sign from God that homemade salsa should be made.
- I am not the proud mama of a big boy who wore big boy underwear all afternoon yesterday and had not a SINGLE accident, even when we went out to dinner.
- I am not that wife who sends her husband to pick up the kids from daycare because she wants some more time to herself before they come barreling back in.
Yep, that's not me!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Summer Savings & Spendthrifts
It is almost the end of my quarter and I am relieved to be facing a lovely 3 month gap in teaching duties. It does bring an end to my salary, but since so much of this is eaten up by daycare costs we really aren't going to feel the pinch too much. However, it is difficult as we have many expenses pending and not very many options for paying for them. We have to put up the fence. We need to put up the new (to us) playset for the kids, which will require some new lumber purchases & new bolts. And did I mention that we are having a baby in July, which will result in a 10% copay for us? Because THAT won't be expensive, no sirree! Last time the total cost was $18,000, so you do the math. Hopefully we will avoid a repeat c-section, but this is something that we cannot control.
Therefore, I am intent on maximizing the fun for the kids & myself without maximizing the dollars flowing out for summer entertainment. Right now the kids are amusing themselves with cheapy character shaped sidewalk chalk that bears a suspicious resemblance to Santa. I can't remember when or where I bought it (Joann's?) but I do like the price, which was 25 cents for a 6 pack of chalk. They are also digging (literally) with some cheap kid-sized gardening tools from Wal Mart and Target. Add a few $1 boats and plastic excavators from last summer, and last summer's kiddie pools, and we have a pleasing entertainment center for our kiddos. Granted, we are not like our neighbors next door. They have the $3k playset (gift from grandma), the $400 huge blow-up waterslide with play pool, a zipline, basketball hoop, you name it. I know they are careful with their money, and I say huzzah to them for being able to afford it! They are nice enough to have an open door policy for our kids, too, although we don't want to abuse their hospitality. They joked about us needing to buy this year's whiz-bang blow up waterslide at Costco (again, $400), but that's just not in the budget, frankly.
I am thinking about getting a zoo membership for the family for the year. We can get our visiting family members in for free, plus have a 'go to' destination with the kids that has paid for itself with 2 visits (likely with 2 sets of grandparents visiting). Any extra visits we make over the coming year will be bonuses.
We are also trying to eat up the freezer stash this month. I have a few bags of squash to use up in muffins & breads, and enough frozen blackberries to make another batch of blackberry jelly. We have to clear out space for the coming largesse from the garden, which is sprouting up at a decent pace. I do have to replant some beans & corn, it looks like--I'm not sure, but I think I didn't keep the soil moist enough for good germination rates. And it all needs a thorough weeding, which I'm sad to say will have to just wait until the quarter is over next week and I have more time to get up there in fits & starts as the kids and dog will allow (not to mention my own energy levels). It will help save us on grocery bills, which would be a nice added benefit.
What we are not doing is going out and buying a whole bunch of new summer clothes, shoes, etc. Really we don't need them. The kids need some summer PJs and a few more summer clothes, so I hit a local consignment store this morning. Luckily for me it was a 1/2 price day sale, so I picked up some shorts & tops for both of them, plus 1 pair each of summer PJs. I will have to find some more PJs on sale at Kohls and/or the other consignment store. I will have to buy some new maternity items, but I'm holding off on that for the moment, because I am going to have to buy them online and I hate buying things blind.
With any luck, this summer will not be too expensive for our pocketbook & property. Wish us luck.
Therefore, I am intent on maximizing the fun for the kids & myself without maximizing the dollars flowing out for summer entertainment. Right now the kids are amusing themselves with cheapy character shaped sidewalk chalk that bears a suspicious resemblance to Santa. I can't remember when or where I bought it (Joann's?) but I do like the price, which was 25 cents for a 6 pack of chalk. They are also digging (literally) with some cheap kid-sized gardening tools from Wal Mart and Target. Add a few $1 boats and plastic excavators from last summer, and last summer's kiddie pools, and we have a pleasing entertainment center for our kiddos. Granted, we are not like our neighbors next door. They have the $3k playset (gift from grandma), the $400 huge blow-up waterslide with play pool, a zipline, basketball hoop, you name it. I know they are careful with their money, and I say huzzah to them for being able to afford it! They are nice enough to have an open door policy for our kids, too, although we don't want to abuse their hospitality. They joked about us needing to buy this year's whiz-bang blow up waterslide at Costco (again, $400), but that's just not in the budget, frankly.
I am thinking about getting a zoo membership for the family for the year. We can get our visiting family members in for free, plus have a 'go to' destination with the kids that has paid for itself with 2 visits (likely with 2 sets of grandparents visiting). Any extra visits we make over the coming year will be bonuses.
We are also trying to eat up the freezer stash this month. I have a few bags of squash to use up in muffins & breads, and enough frozen blackberries to make another batch of blackberry jelly. We have to clear out space for the coming largesse from the garden, which is sprouting up at a decent pace. I do have to replant some beans & corn, it looks like--I'm not sure, but I think I didn't keep the soil moist enough for good germination rates. And it all needs a thorough weeding, which I'm sad to say will have to just wait until the quarter is over next week and I have more time to get up there in fits & starts as the kids and dog will allow (not to mention my own energy levels). It will help save us on grocery bills, which would be a nice added benefit.
What we are not doing is going out and buying a whole bunch of new summer clothes, shoes, etc. Really we don't need them. The kids need some summer PJs and a few more summer clothes, so I hit a local consignment store this morning. Luckily for me it was a 1/2 price day sale, so I picked up some shorts & tops for both of them, plus 1 pair each of summer PJs. I will have to find some more PJs on sale at Kohls and/or the other consignment store. I will have to buy some new maternity items, but I'm holding off on that for the moment, because I am going to have to buy them online and I hate buying things blind.
With any luck, this summer will not be too expensive for our pocketbook & property. Wish us luck.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Ugly But Functional
Lately I am pondering why we (meaning my DH & I) feel the need to embellish the functional to make it more aesthetically appealing. In so doing, we often complicate our lives greatly, saddle ourselves with expensive and time-consuming projects, and then get bogged down while doing them and get very frustrated by the stagnation.
Looking around our house & garden, I see numerous examples of this. We had a functional but weedy yard. We decided to embellish it by creating a huge flower bed, to make it prettier and get rid of the almost 100% weeds that were established there. Fine. But that huge flower bed now needs to be filled. We've spent nearly 2 years trying to fill it, and in the meantime it is more often than not filled with different kinds of weeds that just grow taller than the ones they replaced, and are more time consuming to get rid of (at least with a weedy lawn you can mow it, whereas a weedy flower bed has to be, well, weeded). Trying to solve a problem and make it beautiful gave us a lot more work.
Similarly, we decided to redo our ugly but functional kitchen. We spent numerous hours sanding, priming, & painting the cabinets & countertops, then sealing the countertops. It does look a lot prettier, to be sure--but now we have cream colored cabinets that show all the spills and dirt that get spilled on them on a regular basis. So where previously we had dark but ugly mid-tone oak veneer, now we have warm but dirty cream cabinets that require a pretty vigilant hand with the Magic Eraser (which, frankly, I don't have, so they're just dirty). More beautiful, but more work.
Now we have to decide what we're going to do about the fencing for the dog. We talked about it and DH would like to do a pretty lattice fence for the front part of the yard, with flower beds and pretty stuff growing up the trellises to make it look really pretty. I agreed with the lattice part, I would like that. But the more I think about it, the more I think we are better off to go for ugly functionality over the beautiful. Frankly, we don't have time to keep up with the "prettified" bits we already have around the house & garden. We're adding a new baby to the mix mid-summer, and we're already training a puppy. We have a list a mile long of projects that also need to be done (not want, need). Wood shed for firewood (keeps heating bills down in the wintertime, wood has to be kept dry). Cut up firewood for wintertime early in the summer so it can cure a bit before this winter (see above). Repair pump shed (houses our well pump & needs to be well insulated & actually INTACT to prevent 3rd year straight of freezing pipes & defrosting with hair dryer...one of these times we're going to have a broken water pipe and this is really a NEED). Tear down kids' old swingset (metal, exposed concrete safety hazard, already missed contact with small heads by a mere inch) and replace with freebie wooden playset (it's on my driveway in pieces, it's been there a year, it's time to put it up, m'kay?).
Add to this the fact that we are a little constrained in the old budget and it makes for a nervous nellie. We need to buy more gravel for the driveways ($200-$300). We need to buy materials for the sheds (repair/construction) and the rotten bits of the freebie playset ($200?). Our electric furnace is an antique and we really need a replacement fund for that ($3500, and wouldn't it be nice to replace it this calendar year with that nice tax break plus the energy company's rebate?). Both of our cars need the transmission fluid to be changed, and our minivan needs at least a recharge on the a/c coolant, and hopefully not anything more expensive like a broken compressor that needs to be fixed ($300-$400, without the compressor). And I still don't know if I'm going to be employed this fall, which means our tight summer budget could get really ugly this fall if I'm not working.
Yeah, I'm really not thinking that pretty fences are my cup of tea right now. I'm thinking functional, cheap, and quick to install is what would float my boat. I would love to have a pretty fence with lattice and pretty things growing on it. I think it would look GREAT. However, I also know that we have a lot of demands on our time and our money, and I also know how low our batting average is for completing projects in a timely manner. Really, I am fast becoming a fan of ugly but functional. Give me functional, folks!!! LOVIN' THAT FUNCTIONALITY! I CAN deprogram myself from our society's fascination with all things bright & beautiful (and expensive, and time consuming). Frankly I just don't have the energy for it any more.
Looking around our house & garden, I see numerous examples of this. We had a functional but weedy yard. We decided to embellish it by creating a huge flower bed, to make it prettier and get rid of the almost 100% weeds that were established there. Fine. But that huge flower bed now needs to be filled. We've spent nearly 2 years trying to fill it, and in the meantime it is more often than not filled with different kinds of weeds that just grow taller than the ones they replaced, and are more time consuming to get rid of (at least with a weedy lawn you can mow it, whereas a weedy flower bed has to be, well, weeded). Trying to solve a problem and make it beautiful gave us a lot more work.
Similarly, we decided to redo our ugly but functional kitchen. We spent numerous hours sanding, priming, & painting the cabinets & countertops, then sealing the countertops. It does look a lot prettier, to be sure--but now we have cream colored cabinets that show all the spills and dirt that get spilled on them on a regular basis. So where previously we had dark but ugly mid-tone oak veneer, now we have warm but dirty cream cabinets that require a pretty vigilant hand with the Magic Eraser (which, frankly, I don't have, so they're just dirty). More beautiful, but more work.
Now we have to decide what we're going to do about the fencing for the dog. We talked about it and DH would like to do a pretty lattice fence for the front part of the yard, with flower beds and pretty stuff growing up the trellises to make it look really pretty. I agreed with the lattice part, I would like that. But the more I think about it, the more I think we are better off to go for ugly functionality over the beautiful. Frankly, we don't have time to keep up with the "prettified" bits we already have around the house & garden. We're adding a new baby to the mix mid-summer, and we're already training a puppy. We have a list a mile long of projects that also need to be done (not want, need). Wood shed for firewood (keeps heating bills down in the wintertime, wood has to be kept dry). Cut up firewood for wintertime early in the summer so it can cure a bit before this winter (see above). Repair pump shed (houses our well pump & needs to be well insulated & actually INTACT to prevent 3rd year straight of freezing pipes & defrosting with hair dryer...one of these times we're going to have a broken water pipe and this is really a NEED). Tear down kids' old swingset (metal, exposed concrete safety hazard, already missed contact with small heads by a mere inch) and replace with freebie wooden playset (it's on my driveway in pieces, it's been there a year, it's time to put it up, m'kay?).
Add to this the fact that we are a little constrained in the old budget and it makes for a nervous nellie. We need to buy more gravel for the driveways ($200-$300). We need to buy materials for the sheds (repair/construction) and the rotten bits of the freebie playset ($200?). Our electric furnace is an antique and we really need a replacement fund for that ($3500, and wouldn't it be nice to replace it this calendar year with that nice tax break plus the energy company's rebate?). Both of our cars need the transmission fluid to be changed, and our minivan needs at least a recharge on the a/c coolant, and hopefully not anything more expensive like a broken compressor that needs to be fixed ($300-$400, without the compressor). And I still don't know if I'm going to be employed this fall, which means our tight summer budget could get really ugly this fall if I'm not working.
Yeah, I'm really not thinking that pretty fences are my cup of tea right now. I'm thinking functional, cheap, and quick to install is what would float my boat. I would love to have a pretty fence with lattice and pretty things growing on it. I think it would look GREAT. However, I also know that we have a lot of demands on our time and our money, and I also know how low our batting average is for completing projects in a timely manner. Really, I am fast becoming a fan of ugly but functional. Give me functional, folks!!! LOVIN' THAT FUNCTIONALITY! I CAN deprogram myself from our society's fascination with all things bright & beautiful (and expensive, and time consuming). Frankly I just don't have the energy for it any more.
Monday, May 4, 2009
The Tablecloth
There really is something to sitting down together around the dining table for dinner every night. It's civilized, it teaches the kids table manners, and it helps us stick to our meal plan (it's not quite the same thing to sit down at the dinner table to some take-out pizza, know what I'm saying?).
Now that second little point is a big one, really. No one wants their kids to be slobs at the table, and no one wants their kids to be those kids at a restaurant, running around with straws stuck up their noses or throwing food on the floor. However, getting from the '2 year old and big enough to sit in a real chair (with a booster) and eat like everyone' to 'well mannered, polite 6 year old that everyone compliments when dining in public' is a big transition. Right now our 4 year old daughter is pretty good at the table. She backslides when her brother is being naughty and she eggs him on, and she forgets that the principal purpose of sitting down to eat dinner is to eat dinner, not entertain us with stories and made-up songs and theatrical hand flares that endanger the nearest beverage glasses. But she doesn't throw food on the floor, she doesn't spit out food if she decides halfway through chewing it that she doesn't like it, and she doesn't fling her hands around, knocking over anything in their path.
Our son...well, he does do all of those things. He's two. And, I swear, EVERY NIGHT the boy spills his drink. EVERY NIGHT. It does not matter where I put his cup, or how carefully I watch him so that I can grab it and move it before a vigorous hand wave topples it over. Somehow, each evening, the boy manages to spill his beverage on the table.
Now, I have discovered that, in addition to my pet peeve about always having clean fingernails (let me just say that I will never go camping without running water again), I don't like having a dirty tablecloth. The tablecloth is one of those civilizing elements of dinner together. It's like a stately butler, bidding all to behave at table. Somehow having a permanently stained and perpetually damp-within-minutes tablecloth really put a damper on my enjoyment of the whole dinner ritual. I had two "everyday" tablecloths that were purchased on the cheap and had lasted us for about seven years. However, they have not been able to withstand the onslaught wrought by our children. The pale green tablecloth now has a distorted yellow spot covering about ten percent of the middle, and the white & burgundy one is dotted with dark stains and some large blots.
It was time to upgrade the table linens, friends. I bought two new "everyday" tablecloths at Kohls, one of which is a microfiber tablecloth. Aha! Something my children should not (in theory) be able to stain! Yippee!
Well, my son is putting this tablecloth through its paces. Both of our kids have placemats, in an attempt to rein in the stainmaking potential at their places. Despite his beloved "Cars" being plastered all over his placemat, my son still has an uncanny knack for pushing it back just enough so that he can spill with abandon on the tablecloth itself. Tonight he dumped a full glass of milk (and please note that two year olds ALSO think they are too OLD for sippy cups, Mommy!) on it, and that beaded right up on the tablecloth like it was nothing. We were impressed. However, I think the everlasting piece of genius has to go to DH, who in a moment of inspiration swapped our son's placemat for a Shamwow. Yes, he is a genius (particularly because my dad sent them to us from their Costco pack and I hadn't a clue what we could use them for). I think they should make themed placemats out of that stuff. Now our son's place at the table has a generous lip that runs off the table, and plenty of coverage to either side. He could spill milk and other food repeatedly and still it will not touch the tablecloth.
A double armor system, that is what it takes. That, and lots of wine and humor. And Wine Away stain remover. It's not just for wine, my friends. It works on a lot of other kid mangling stains. You too could make an "everyday" tablecloth last for seven plus years, even WITH table training kids. I dare you.
Now that second little point is a big one, really. No one wants their kids to be slobs at the table, and no one wants their kids to be those kids at a restaurant, running around with straws stuck up their noses or throwing food on the floor. However, getting from the '2 year old and big enough to sit in a real chair (with a booster) and eat like everyone' to 'well mannered, polite 6 year old that everyone compliments when dining in public' is a big transition. Right now our 4 year old daughter is pretty good at the table. She backslides when her brother is being naughty and she eggs him on, and she forgets that the principal purpose of sitting down to eat dinner is to eat dinner, not entertain us with stories and made-up songs and theatrical hand flares that endanger the nearest beverage glasses. But she doesn't throw food on the floor, she doesn't spit out food if she decides halfway through chewing it that she doesn't like it, and she doesn't fling her hands around, knocking over anything in their path.
Our son...well, he does do all of those things. He's two. And, I swear, EVERY NIGHT the boy spills his drink. EVERY NIGHT. It does not matter where I put his cup, or how carefully I watch him so that I can grab it and move it before a vigorous hand wave topples it over. Somehow, each evening, the boy manages to spill his beverage on the table.
Now, I have discovered that, in addition to my pet peeve about always having clean fingernails (let me just say that I will never go camping without running water again), I don't like having a dirty tablecloth. The tablecloth is one of those civilizing elements of dinner together. It's like a stately butler, bidding all to behave at table. Somehow having a permanently stained and perpetually damp-within-minutes tablecloth really put a damper on my enjoyment of the whole dinner ritual. I had two "everyday" tablecloths that were purchased on the cheap and had lasted us for about seven years. However, they have not been able to withstand the onslaught wrought by our children. The pale green tablecloth now has a distorted yellow spot covering about ten percent of the middle, and the white & burgundy one is dotted with dark stains and some large blots.
It was time to upgrade the table linens, friends. I bought two new "everyday" tablecloths at Kohls, one of which is a microfiber tablecloth. Aha! Something my children should not (in theory) be able to stain! Yippee!
Well, my son is putting this tablecloth through its paces. Both of our kids have placemats, in an attempt to rein in the stainmaking potential at their places. Despite his beloved "Cars" being plastered all over his placemat, my son still has an uncanny knack for pushing it back just enough so that he can spill with abandon on the tablecloth itself. Tonight he dumped a full glass of milk (and please note that two year olds ALSO think they are too OLD for sippy cups, Mommy!) on it, and that beaded right up on the tablecloth like it was nothing. We were impressed. However, I think the everlasting piece of genius has to go to DH, who in a moment of inspiration swapped our son's placemat for a Shamwow. Yes, he is a genius (particularly because my dad sent them to us from their Costco pack and I hadn't a clue what we could use them for). I think they should make themed placemats out of that stuff. Now our son's place at the table has a generous lip that runs off the table, and plenty of coverage to either side. He could spill milk and other food repeatedly and still it will not touch the tablecloth.
A double armor system, that is what it takes. That, and lots of wine and humor. And Wine Away stain remover. It's not just for wine, my friends. It works on a lot of other kid mangling stains. You too could make an "everyday" tablecloth last for seven plus years, even WITH table training kids. I dare you.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Of Divas and Dogs
We have a new discipline problem confronting us with DD. I don't know how many of my few readers have a strong-willed child, but our daughter is STRONG-WILLED. Lately she has had bad temper tantrums where she completely loses control of herself, banging at the walls of her room and repeating the same promise incessantly to do better, to listen, to do X like we asked her to, etc. No matter how many times we tell her that she is choosing the hard way, she continues to choose it. She seems to think that she is free to ignore what we tell her if she doesn't want to do it, and no amount of post-punishment explaining of our reasons for telling her to do something makes any difference in her decision to willfully defy us. This is not unexpected--she is 4, she is not able to reason. However, DH & I think that she ought to figure out that we are consistent in the expectation that she do what she's told, and she is consistently punished for not doing so, and she's a smart kid...surely she ought to figure out that she could have a much easier existence if she just did what she was told when she is told to do it.
Unfortunately I think that we are still applying too much logic to the situation. She is told to do something that she doesn't want to do, often in direct contradiction to what she wants to do. Because she does not understand why we don't want her to do it, I presume she decides our commands are less important than her wants, and she disobeys. Perhaps it's not even that clear-cut--she sees something she wants to do, she does it, and to hell with the consequences.
DH and I have noticed a clear correlation between incredibly poor behavior choices and daycare. When she is in daycare, she comes home with this incredibly bad attitude and nasty disobedience. When she is not in daycare, as she wasn't during spring break and for most of this week due to a cold, she has a day of being corrected and then she gets back into our expectations and behaves herself. I think part of it may be the attitude of her new daycare teacher. She told me that "all the little girls in her class come out little divas". Um, I don't want a diva, I want my daughter. I sincerely hope that it's not directly the teacher, but more the other kids and the fact that the teacher can't possibly be monitoring every behavior all the time.
Our dog is also still learning, just as we are still learning about her. I had a good time today taking her to obedience class. She has started nipping and jumping at me in the yard when she wants to play, as well as tugging on my pant leg with her teeth or trying to nip at my ankles. The trainer suggested standing still, because it clearly communicates, "you're boring me" to the dog and they will give up. We were doing a high pitched "yelp" the way another dog would, to get her to stop the ankle nipping, but that wasn't as effective. Now we have to teach the kids how to do the same thing. Fortunately she is displaying typical puppy behaviors, where she is not really biting but she is mouthing. This is scary to our kids, especially our son. He is closest to her size and it's really important that the dog learns not to do this. As with everything else puppy-related, it is a question of consistency and time. She will outgrow that behavior eventually and we just have to be patient.
Our son is enjoying wearing big boy underwear now when he's at home. This has resulted in many puddles and otherwise droopy drawers, such that sometimes my husband and I aren't clear whose piddle or poop we are cleaning up! However, he, too, is learning and getting better. He managed to keep a pair clean all morning today, pulling them down twice to use the potty and actually putting them back on. Hopefully this means he finally comprehends that we don't change our underwear twenty times a day to see a new character whenever we peek at our underwear. Likewise he has discovered that that hole in the front of his underwear is pretty cool--much cooler than wearing the underwear backwards so he can see the big print design.
Progress in some areas and not in others--the story of my life!!
Unfortunately I think that we are still applying too much logic to the situation. She is told to do something that she doesn't want to do, often in direct contradiction to what she wants to do. Because she does not understand why we don't want her to do it, I presume she decides our commands are less important than her wants, and she disobeys. Perhaps it's not even that clear-cut--she sees something she wants to do, she does it, and to hell with the consequences.
DH and I have noticed a clear correlation between incredibly poor behavior choices and daycare. When she is in daycare, she comes home with this incredibly bad attitude and nasty disobedience. When she is not in daycare, as she wasn't during spring break and for most of this week due to a cold, she has a day of being corrected and then she gets back into our expectations and behaves herself. I think part of it may be the attitude of her new daycare teacher. She told me that "all the little girls in her class come out little divas". Um, I don't want a diva, I want my daughter. I sincerely hope that it's not directly the teacher, but more the other kids and the fact that the teacher can't possibly be monitoring every behavior all the time.
Our dog is also still learning, just as we are still learning about her. I had a good time today taking her to obedience class. She has started nipping and jumping at me in the yard when she wants to play, as well as tugging on my pant leg with her teeth or trying to nip at my ankles. The trainer suggested standing still, because it clearly communicates, "you're boring me" to the dog and they will give up. We were doing a high pitched "yelp" the way another dog would, to get her to stop the ankle nipping, but that wasn't as effective. Now we have to teach the kids how to do the same thing. Fortunately she is displaying typical puppy behaviors, where she is not really biting but she is mouthing. This is scary to our kids, especially our son. He is closest to her size and it's really important that the dog learns not to do this. As with everything else puppy-related, it is a question of consistency and time. She will outgrow that behavior eventually and we just have to be patient.
Our son is enjoying wearing big boy underwear now when he's at home. This has resulted in many puddles and otherwise droopy drawers, such that sometimes my husband and I aren't clear whose piddle or poop we are cleaning up! However, he, too, is learning and getting better. He managed to keep a pair clean all morning today, pulling them down twice to use the potty and actually putting them back on. Hopefully this means he finally comprehends that we don't change our underwear twenty times a day to see a new character whenever we peek at our underwear. Likewise he has discovered that that hole in the front of his underwear is pretty cool--much cooler than wearing the underwear backwards so he can see the big print design.
Progress in some areas and not in others--the story of my life!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Barbie & Information Age
We are entering a new phase of childhood with DD--the Barbie age. We finally broke down and bought a Barbie DVD movie for her a few months ago, and it was just a matter of time before an actual Barbie doll made its appearance in our house. We haven't had an actual Barbie in play yet, but there is a new 'Thumbelina' doll, complete with closing magical flower, in residence in her room. And there is a cheapy $5 Barbie ballerina doll stocked in the store, to be purchased by good behavior points. I suspect it will be purchased this week or the following week, depending on how many points I assign as its purchase price. Then we will really be off on the roller coaster: Barbie clothes, gear, friends, etc.
Back when I was a young and somewhat foolish college smart aleck, I always thought I would never allow my daughter to play with Barbie dolls! Why she was a symbol of female oppression! Her figure was completely disproportionate to any real woman's body, and she had pre-formed feet made for high heels! Of course, some of those things have changed nowadays. They changed her proportions to be more realistic. Every Barbie is no longer pre-programmed with high heel feet, nor does every Barbie have automatic make-up on her face. Barbie is shown as a "baby doctor", a soccer coach, and all other sorts of self-esteem affirming professions for little girls (and yes, even a stay at home mom!). Still, I had a malingering resentment of Barbie as the dominant corporate creation, somehow forcing out the nameless "little guy" doll makers, not to mention the fact that her skirts are still hiked up to the '60s microskirt levels.
Well, frankly, I have looked at some of the alternatives to Barbie, and (to say the least) I found them seriously wanting. There are the High School Musical dolls, Hannah Montana dolls, and the Bratz dolls (no I'm not kidding). Hannah Montana and High School Musical might be fine entertainment platforms for tweeners (I know nothing of Hannah Montana but have heard good things from other parents about HSM), but it's hardly the sort of fare I want to show to my four year old. And the Bratz dolls--well, all the things that Barbie used to be maligned for, Bratz dolls are times ten. No thanks. And there are the generic competitors out there--the "Hearts Club" or whatever it is at Target, and other lesser known brands at more expensive prices from out-of-the-way 'intelligent toy' stores and online retailers. I'm all for shopping according to principles, but when your 4 year old has a gift card to Wal Mart from grandma, let's just say that she's going to want to buy her doll and have it NOW; which is how we came to have Thumbelina (and the Thumbelina dress up jewelry and shoes). Grandma's $50 card went a long way in the eyes of our DD. I snuck in the matching tiara for her Easter basket, because we are ALL about being a princess these days! And so it begins...I am already trying to figure out the best way to store Barbie paraphenalia such that she may actually use the storage system.
Our DS is at the "Why?" stage of development. He is 2 and trying to figure everything out, so no matter what answer you give to a question, it is immediately followed by "Why?" You can go on ad nauseum unless you remember the fact that he's TWO, and shut down the endless questions with, "That's the way it is, bud." And followed by, "It just is." For some reason, hearing this repeated somehow permeates his brain with the idea that he's not going to get any more information on that topic, and the subject is closed.
This information accumulation is particularly noteworthy in that it now trumps the sighting of an exciting vehicle, such as a dump truck, or school bus, or police car! He will notice them, but he's more interested in getting his questions answered. He is also very particular about his cars and trains, arranging them in specific patterns that make perfect sense to him. He gets very irritated if we move them before he's done playing with them, and will scold us: "No Mommy! No move dat!" Clearly there are imaginative stories being played out with the cars and trains. I am sure we will hear all about them over the course of the next year or so as he continues to accumulate ideas.
Kids are just so fun.
Back when I was a young and somewhat foolish college smart aleck, I always thought I would never allow my daughter to play with Barbie dolls! Why she was a symbol of female oppression! Her figure was completely disproportionate to any real woman's body, and she had pre-formed feet made for high heels! Of course, some of those things have changed nowadays. They changed her proportions to be more realistic. Every Barbie is no longer pre-programmed with high heel feet, nor does every Barbie have automatic make-up on her face. Barbie is shown as a "baby doctor", a soccer coach, and all other sorts of self-esteem affirming professions for little girls (and yes, even a stay at home mom!). Still, I had a malingering resentment of Barbie as the dominant corporate creation, somehow forcing out the nameless "little guy" doll makers, not to mention the fact that her skirts are still hiked up to the '60s microskirt levels.
Well, frankly, I have looked at some of the alternatives to Barbie, and (to say the least) I found them seriously wanting. There are the High School Musical dolls, Hannah Montana dolls, and the Bratz dolls (no I'm not kidding). Hannah Montana and High School Musical might be fine entertainment platforms for tweeners (I know nothing of Hannah Montana but have heard good things from other parents about HSM), but it's hardly the sort of fare I want to show to my four year old. And the Bratz dolls--well, all the things that Barbie used to be maligned for, Bratz dolls are times ten. No thanks. And there are the generic competitors out there--the "Hearts Club" or whatever it is at Target, and other lesser known brands at more expensive prices from out-of-the-way 'intelligent toy' stores and online retailers. I'm all for shopping according to principles, but when your 4 year old has a gift card to Wal Mart from grandma, let's just say that she's going to want to buy her doll and have it NOW; which is how we came to have Thumbelina (and the Thumbelina dress up jewelry and shoes). Grandma's $50 card went a long way in the eyes of our DD. I snuck in the matching tiara for her Easter basket, because we are ALL about being a princess these days! And so it begins...I am already trying to figure out the best way to store Barbie paraphenalia such that she may actually use the storage system.
Our DS is at the "Why?" stage of development. He is 2 and trying to figure everything out, so no matter what answer you give to a question, it is immediately followed by "Why?" You can go on ad nauseum unless you remember the fact that he's TWO, and shut down the endless questions with, "That's the way it is, bud." And followed by, "It just is." For some reason, hearing this repeated somehow permeates his brain with the idea that he's not going to get any more information on that topic, and the subject is closed.
This information accumulation is particularly noteworthy in that it now trumps the sighting of an exciting vehicle, such as a dump truck, or school bus, or police car! He will notice them, but he's more interested in getting his questions answered. He is also very particular about his cars and trains, arranging them in specific patterns that make perfect sense to him. He gets very irritated if we move them before he's done playing with them, and will scold us: "No Mommy! No move dat!" Clearly there are imaginative stories being played out with the cars and trains. I am sure we will hear all about them over the course of the next year or so as he continues to accumulate ideas.
Kids are just so fun.
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