The Easy Way vs. The Hard Way

We have been experiencing that classic dichotomy in our house of late, the Easy Way vs. the Hard Way. It's not always clear-cut which is the better path, because sometimes the Easy Way is good for you, and sometimes the Hard Way is good for you. A few recent examples:

• DH did not take the Easy Way and call someone to come out and service our lawnmower. Instead, he went and bought all the right gear to change the oil & blades himself, including a set of ramps, and went about assembling the ramps and then doing it all himself. The cost for all the supplies was probably equal to what we would have paid for a housecall to do the same service, except now we have paid-for ramps and in-house experience with doing it ourselves, thus saving us money in the future. It was the Hard Way this year, but in the future it will be the Easy and LBYM Way.
• DD has been going through another "Challenge Authority" phase, wherein every command and instruction given by myself and DH are met with obstinacy and either failure to comply or the bare minimum of compliance, with a healthy dose of Attitude thrown in. Obviously, the Easy Way for her would be to just do what we tell her to do, but she is consistently chosing the Hard Way and is being punished with time-outs, spankings, and loss of Points (which are earned daily and can be used to buy things once a week from our special Points Store, with goodies such as candy, window clings, Princess socks and the like). I can already see a prequel of the teen years in our house...oh boy.
• DS has been doing his fair share of choosing the Hard Way of late too. He is on antibiotics for his first ear infection, and has figured out a successful strategy for ejecting most of the antibiotic from his mouth when we administer it with the syringe. (As an aside, COME ON PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES, can you NOT find a more concentrated way to package a standard antibiotic for infants than to require parents to get SEVEN MILLILITERS into a screaming baby who is about to throw it all back up because they are gagging??? Really???) We called our pediatrician in desperation because honestly the kid was spitting out more than he was getting, and were then told, "Oh, well, just mix it in with a little food or ice cream or popsicle." *eye twitch* And you could not tell us this LAST WEEK when we got the prescription???
• Like two fools, DH & I have been choosing the Hard Way each evening, knowing we have two sick kids who will likely wake up multiple times, and still we are staying up to our normal time before trying to go to sleep. And we wonder why we are a titch cranky? Hmmm? Now who is choosing the Hard Way? I do not wonder where my children get this habit, no I do not...

Well, there is more proof, as if any were needed, that by being a parent I am reminded of how often I choose the Hard Way when it's not the best choice. To see my own children do the same thing is such an apt mirror of humanity. Oh, the humanity! Off my soapbox now, I need to go to bed early for a change. Night-night.

Spring Greening

Today is the day DH has been Dreading...the first lawn mowing day of the season! Yep, it's time to change the blade on our riding lawnmower, and get out there and cut the thatch that is currently masquerading as our lawn. In addition, there are noxious weeds attempting to grow in certain areas, including (but not limited to) thistles and stinging nettles, which are verboten on our property with the young'uns running about. Therefore, after lawn mowing is completed, DH is charged with Round-Up duty for the seedling nettles, and I am spading out the thistles. Good times!

On the plus side, we have the fun of cleaning out the flower beds, which is always a happy occasion. I always discover new shoots coming up when I clear away the dead leaves from the crocosmia and daylilies, and I am also likely to find more cheery spring bulbs about ready to flower, which I forget about during their dormant season. I spotted a happy pair of pink hyacinths ready to open up, and the white narcissus that pop up in a neglected corner of the garden are in full bloom. My tulips are up and the Russian tulips are blooming, with their fancy Dutch cousins to follow in a few weeks' time. The daffodils are starting to nod with their bright yellow heads, and my Sparaxis (at least I think that's what they are) are peeking up with their starburst purple blossoms. *sigh* It does my heart good to see all these lovely blooms in my garden.

I also bought four fruit trees (bare root) that must go in the ground today. I have bare root strawberry and blueberry plants to get in the dirt, too, in addition to transplanting all my existing strawberries to their new location. Once the strawberries are gone, we can finally give free rein to our neighbors with the plow and tiller, and we will have a large (for us) vegetable garden plot of about 30' x 30'. I have some stumps that termites and fungus have happily chewed up, so I will be putting the wood chips in the north end of the veggie garden, to make the soil a more fungally dominated one for the satisfaction of our corn. I will keep the rest bacterially dominated, which should keep everyone happy. See all the good little nuggets of information you can get from good regional gardening books, as well as a few nursery classes? And I am going to buy polyethylene sheeting to make "grow cones" to extend our growing season, hopefully keeping our veggies happy well into the fall. Maybe I actually will have a shot at growing some watermelons this year!

We will probably let the kiddos cavort around in the yard while we work, although DS will require a bit more supervision. He is still at the age where tasting everything seems like a good idea, and until we get rid of the thistles and nettles I have to make sure he's not wandering into any of them. Soothing nettle stings is not my idea of a fun parenting moment, and needless to say DS would not be too happy either! Fortunately I have already purchased yard toys, which will provide ample diversions for them. Also, DD will get to help plant more flower seeds, which is always a favorite task. The long flowerbed along the back walkway has been designated as "hers", so anything that goes in there she has to plant herself. We have plenty of sunflower seeds, saved from last year's crop, in addition to sweetpeas, purple coneflower, Shasta daisies, and a grab-bag of 'wildflower seeds'. That bed was gorgeous last summer, a happy confluence of rainbow hues and big and small flowers. Kids are perfect gardeners, because they use the same lackadaisical sowing pattern as the wind. Jumbles of flowers are always welcome in our yard, as are garden experiments with melons (soggy Pacific NW here, this is a long shot, let me tell you) and lilacs (not doing well, I am close to declaring them 'slacker plants' and yanking them). It's all a grand learning process for us all, but I love it. Greening up the garden = fun!

Different Types of Grandparents

My DH & I have come to the conclusion that grandparents come in two main varieties: the Engaging Type and the Observant Type. The Engaging Grandparents see their visit to the grandkids as an opportunity to interact with them extensively, and give the parents a break. They urge the parents to go away by themselves on dates, take on common chores for childcare such as diaper changing and naptime story reading, and in general want to be interacting with their grandkids as much as possible during their visit. They come prepared to put aside their own preferences and routines in favor of child face-time, and will get down on the floor every day and play with the grandkids.

Then there are the Observant Grandparents. They come for a visit with the purpose of 'seeing' the grandkids, and watching them play. They will get down and play with the grandkids, but only for brief periods of time (30 minutes or so) and then are content to go back to reading their books or watching their TV programmes. They are keen to keep on with their usual routines as much as possible, even if it means missing out on visiting time with the grandkids.

I think all grandparents eventually end up in the Observant category, due to aging and physical limitations. However, when your own kids are young, you sort of hope for the Engaging grandparents on both sides of the family, because it means that your kids at least get the benefit of fun and games and interactive play when the grandparents come to visit. Additionally, as parents you get the benefit of having some dates and time off from Constant Vigilance. Of course, this also brings some downsides. The Engaging Grandparents are more likely to engage in activities with your children that you disapprove of, like letting them do some high risk activity on the playset or eat ice cream for breakfast, etc. So while you get to enjoy the benefits, you also have to put up with the meltdowns and tantrums when the kids have to come back down to earth when Grandma and Grandpa go home. This leads to about a week lag time in our house, up to two weeks if it was a long visit, where the kiddos are mostly unhappy as DH & I reassert our household rules and behavior expectations that went out the window with the Grandparents.

On the other hand, the Observant Grandparents can be a lot of work in and of themselves, due to their need for personal routines and things "just so". It's a lot more work trying to argue with the Observant Grandparent, so it's easier to just go with their flow and deal with the consequences later. In our house, this means that we have to clean up a bunch after they leave (clutterbugs), put up with inane and seemingly random comments on society and politics at odd times in conversation, and throw away a bunch of crappy food. *shrug* So be it. And the grandkids don't get as much pleasure out of a visit from the Observant Grandparents, because there just isn't as much tomfoolery and fun and games as there is with the Engaging Grandparents. So, you can't help but feel as though your kids are somehow missing out, or that your parents aren't putting out enough of an effort to enjoy your kids as much as you do...which is of course totally unfair, because they are 32 years older than you and frankly don't have the stamina to put up with a lot of horseplay!

As you can tell, we've had a visit from Grandparents recently, specifically, my parents. I won't say which type they are (perhaps it's better to say there is a spectrum between those two identities) but I do know that I have a lot of work to do putting our house to rights, and that my kids (especially DD) will cry at the airport tomorrow and will miss them after they have gone home. I thought I was going to get a lot more done around the house and homestead, things that I find difficult to do with the kiddos in tow, but suffice it to say that did not happen. Oh well. At the very least, we booked our trip to go see DH's parents and family in Ireland, so that is something to look forward to this summer. And at least I know that for THAT visit, I won't have to worry about a tidy house!

Get Yours Today!

Picture a rosy-cheeked cherub snuggled in on your lap, with feverish warm hands tucked next to your stomach and cozy feet snuggled up into your hipbone. When he wakes, he will gurgle in a charming fashion, that is if you don't mind the projectile vomit to follow and then caress your face with his wet hand while you gently wipe up a bit of vomit drool from his chin. He will keep you warm and snuggly all day causing foot cramps and aching hips from sitting in the same place. If desired, he will run around briefly seeking toys to bring back to your lap, and whine and cry beg gently to be permitted to return to the sanctuary of your arms.

Now, who wouldn't want one of those? Call today!

*Disclaimer* Vomit scents included free of charge. Vomit emissions are guaranteed but are not fixed in schedule. Sore body parts from endless breastfeeding and laggardly lap-sitting a bonus.

Gah, Home Ownership!

Well, DH & I are finally being dragged kicking and screaming being proactive and engaging in the remodel of our Storage Space, aka the Guest Cottage, neé the Detached Garage. Fortunately for us (aka the Non-Handy People), the previous owners accomplished the drywalling and flooring and painting of the ground floor space to make it somewhat habitable, including putting in a woodstove and an inside stairway. It matters not that they did neither of the latter two items up to code; we will give them their due for having achieved that much and move on with our own plans for the space.

The former owners also left us with the crude genesis of a bathroom in a corner, complete with floor joists to accommodate p-traps and a framed in doorway and tiny bathroom window. What they did NOT do, much to our dismay, is to rough in the plumbing for said bathroom. Which brings DH & I to a bit of an impasse in our work. We know they did some trenching out front and to the side of the house, which indicates the likelihood of connecting into the septic system. In our extreme naivéte when we bought the house, we did not mark these fresh trenches in the lawn, and now the lawn has grown over them and we haven't a clue where they are. Additionally, we have tried and failed to contact the former owners, who still live in the vicinity on one of the local military bases. I am seriously contemplating writing them a letter addressed to this address, and begging the post office to forward it. Can you look up expired forwarding addresses? That, or I might call their church for the express purpose of obtaining their current mailing address. Such is the depths to which I will sink to avoid digging 18" down in random perpendicular lines, hoping to strike whatever the heck they've already (presumably) laid.

The big question is what they have done with the plumbing. Have they already connected in to the septic system? If so, where? There was digging in the front, and there was digging at the side. My money is on the side, but who knows? And if they did connect in, did they go ahead and lay some section of pipe? Where does it end? We don't know. What we do know is that with the location they chose for the bathroom, we will have to put in one of those macerating toilet/pump systems to get the sewage/gray water up the tiny slope and into the rest of the system. I have been pricing these types of units and know that this alone will cost us about $800-900, not including installation. And you start talking about adding a sink, and a corner shower unit, and all the plumbing rough-in for that, plus fixtures...and, well, I think it's not unrealistic to say we will be spending at least $2000, and maybe more like $3000 if we pay a plumber to do it all for us and don't attempt to DIY parts of it. Oh wait, I forgot the hot water heater--that's another $200-400. *gulp*

Now, we don't have $2000 saved for this. I'm thinking we could maybe eat the cost for some of the fixtures and possibly the toilet, but it would be a stretch to pay for all of this out of pocket. Maybe if the car is paid off, and we divert the former car payment, we could swing it, but I'm skeptical. Added to the problem here is that we really need to do some of the work this summer, like bringing the plumbing rough-in actually INTO the building; and it adds to the budget crunch, because the car might not be paid off by mid-summer. I hope it will be, but there's a lot of finger crossing going on here.

I'm not even talking about the reorientation of the bottom section of the stairway, or framing in a wall and closet under the stairs to create a pseudo-bedroom behind it. I don't know how much that is going to cost us, but we will hopefully be DIY-ing that bit with the help of Handy Neighbors, and so I think we can get away with spending a few hundred dollars and call it good. Plus the $500 it will cost us to have the woodstove installed properly and be up to code, because, well, it strikes me that depending on it for the sole heat source in the Cottage, whilst asking the In-Laws to live there for their multi-week visit...yeah, I am thinking that the woodstove is definitely one thing that ought to be up to code.

So we are looking at a ballpark of $4000 to get the Guest Cottage habitable. If I could do some dressing up and fixing of ugly bits, like recovering the torn vinyl with snazzy vinyl floor tiles in an appealing color/pattern, that would be a very good thing. Torn vinyl with missing bits right at the doorstep doesn't particularly appeal as a living condition. The fake Pergo flooring on the other 2/3 of the main floor, while not what I would have picked, is in good shape and it can serve its purpose for years as far as I'm concerned. And the industrial carpeting upstairs is just fine, even if the florescent box light fixtures are past twee and into just Plain Ugly. But hey, you work with what you've got, right? But I'm afraid that the fixes discussed above are really the bare minimum to get that space workable for guests, and we have 9 months and counting until the In-Laws and Sister-in-Law arrive for their Christmas visit.

Did I mention that we still have to finish unpacking and getting stuff OUT of there? Gah! Home ownership!

Mostly Happy Easter

I am a day late, but I hope all of you enjoyed lovely Easters with your families. We hosted two couples for Easter lunch, and we were all having such a nice time chatting that they stayed for an impromptu dinner too.

Today I am enjoying the novelty of a mostly clean house, due to the intensive cleaning which I did on Saturday while DH kept the children entertained and out of my hair. Most of the toys are put away, the shelves and cubbies are mostly organized, my laundry is mostly washed and my dishes are mostly clean. As I play catch-up today, it has occurred to me that "mostly" can describe the state of my house (you guessed it) most of the time! It's just impossible to attain a 100% clean and organized house with preschoolers, so I am learning to treasure the "mostly" moments like today that creep in quietly and exit with a sigh as the coming weeks wreak their havoc on our house.

My children are pushing my buttons now that it's the end of the day. It is certainly "the witching hour" in our house, that last part of the day when tempers are short and bodies are exhausted from a long day. They are both changing so much now though--another spurt of brain development and bodies stretching out. DS has moved up yet again in shoe size. I see echoes of the future when I'm going to be hard-pressed to keep this kid clothed. DD is trying out new behaviors on us, some received with considerable more attention than others. She is picking up the unsavory habit of talking back at school, and so we have instituted a new behavior board in her room and she can earn points, or lose points, for her behavior. If she earns enough points, she can buy rewards, ranging from candy bars to a trip to Red Robin. Heady stuff for a three year old!

I'm trying to retrain myself after falling off the wagon again with Easter decorating and clothing madness. Still doing the LBYM thing, we just didn't do so well this month on the old debt snowball. Two steps forward, etc, so I'm putting it behind me and moving on. On the plus side, we are going to be booking our trip to Ireland to visit DH's family this week, so I'm excited about that! The in-laws got tired of waiting for us to book, as we were adamant about not spending more than we've saved on airfare. So, they have chipped in basically the price difference between our budget and what flights are going for now, and we are going to be able to book! They want those dates fixed so they can enjoy their anticipation of our visit, and that's fine by me--hey, they are paying for the privilege! Now I just have to get online and find a good deal on those GoGo Babyz Travelmate things to make life easier in the airports with the carseats. One transatlantic flight without such a device has convinced us it is worthwhile to invest in two!

So that's where I'm at, head-space wise. My parents arrive on Friday for a week's visit, which will be really nice. I'd like to find money in the budget to go out to dinner with DH, but it's not there at the moment so unless my parents offer us some cash and a night out on them, it won't be happening. That's okay. I'll just be happy for a good family visit with no fighting between my brother, his wife, or my parents. And I will probably settle for a mostly good visit. And that's okay.

A Poopy Day

Well, you'd think it was enough that my house is a disaster zone still waiting for FEMA, and that the children were tormenting the bird with their Easter balloons earlier. And that I'm out of dryer sheets and have yet to do my Bible study homework, again. And have been massaging yet another family drama due to the parents' impending visit. Nope, that wasn't enough sucky stuff--I got a speeding ticket today on my way to drop DD off at school.

Now I'm not going to tell you I wasn't speeding, because I was. I'm not going to whine and say I didn't deserve the ticket, because I was doing 48 mph in a 35 mph zone and my inattention is now going to cost us $133. Ouch. I am going to tell you that it sucks just a little bit that I had just turned onto the road in question, had stomped on the accelerator because I was a bit annoyed with DD's antics about finally getting into the car, and feared she would be late for school and her Easter party. And my friends, with a V6 stomping on the accelerator does produce instant results, to the tune of accelerating by 20 mph within about 2 seconds...which, by the way, is about when I saw the police car less than 1/4 of a mile down the road, with radar gun poised in my direction. Oh, bugger! It does not matter that I was on the road for less than 1/3 of a mile, or that I slowed down right away--that little gun beeped at 48 mph and that was that. $#%@!!!!

It did not improve my mood to have DD asking questions about the whole thing from her second row seat of the whole affair. I had to be frank and admit that Mommy was being naughty and the police officer was doing his job and reminding Mommy that she shouldn't go so fast. DD accepted the explanation with aplomb and mercifully sat quietly while I produced the requisite proof of insurance, driver's license, and registration.

I found out that my insurance company's latest version of our insurance card with a non-specific expiration date does not make police officers happy. Great. So now I have to call my insurance company and complain about that, along with the fact that even though we moved to this state TWO YEARS AGO they continue to send us insurance cards with our former state of residence on them. Good times, explaining that one. And it miffed me more than a little bit that the police officer said, "Well I use Acme Insurance too and I've never in sixteen years seen a card like this...I might have to call them to ask about it." I did not say what I was thinking, which was Well officer if you want to do that go right ahead, all I do is cut out the insurance card they send me and put it in my car. I don't know why they changed it so don't blame me! Because, as we all know, we are all completely familiar with what the exact specifications for information on insurance cards is in each and every state! Grrrr.

Anyway, I was polite and he was polite and I got my little green ticket and found out that no, they do not offer driver's education here so at least that is one thing removed from a future Saturday appointment. Instead I will have to mail in my check for $133 and deal with the black mark on my driving record, which for all I know could remain there permanently, not falling off like it would in other states after a set period of time. So now I can go research that little tidbit for future reference, while I continue eating Trader Joe's mini peanut butter cups and drinking Diet Coke. That counts as a nutritious lunch, right? At least DS has gone down for his nap like a good boy...oh wait. *eye twitch* And the person I'm really mad at is myself, for stomping on the accelerator because yet again I let DD's antics get under my skin, and I couldn't exercise just that tiny bit of distancing required for good self-control. Self-reflection is always harshest when you've got so many mirrors held up for you. Yep, a poopy day around here!